Emma on a Wednesday

Wednesday Emma report:

• Discovers a pair of panties that she doesn't recognize and comes barreling into the bathroom, hurling said panties at me in the shower and screaming "These are not mine!"
• Sings me her new song, I Lost A Kleenex, while playing her guitar.
• Lounges on the couch as if deeply ill, then jumps up and screams, "I can't move over! It's too hard, it's too hard! I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it, I can-NOT, I can-NOT. It's strainable, it's strainable, it's so beautiful but I can't do it, it's too hard, it's too hard, it's too hard." "I just can't believe it," she ends breathlessly as she falls back on her pillow, closes her eyes and hides her face from the world.
• Asks me to open her cash register for her - but not until she's three rooms away, has her ears covered and yells "Go!" as the all-clear for me to open it without scaring her. (Her methods are a bit extreme, but in her defense the darn thing IS pretty loud when it flies open.)
• Sample conversation in the car this morning: "Mommy, if I had 20 hundred dollars and 7 many dollars, would you give me dollar 1?" "Um, sure!" "Thanks, Mommy."
• Wakes up from nap crying b/c she can't figure out how to do the flip-over with her hoodie.
  
• Stands on the toilet shrieking the same 10 words over and over - "Who Am I? Tell Me. Cause I Can Do Anything" - for 20 minutes before bowing to her imaginary audience and quietly saying, "Thank you. Thank you very much."