But...but...Barbie never complained!

This pic is one of my better spontaneous hair creations. 

I'm pretty proud of my braiding skills. I went to the School of Barbie (years and years of training, folks), and while I'm no expert, I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve. 

This morning, Sophie asked me to put her hair in a single braid. One braid? Pffff. Cake walk. 

Me: "Um...sure. I think I can handle that."

Sophie: "But...just...well...don't do it like you normally do it, okay, Mommy? Do it like a professional this time, please. I want it to look nice."

Sophie's Letter to the Tooth Fairy

Sophie lost a tooth yesterday. Here's the note she put under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy to find. IF THIS ISN'T THE CUTEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN, THEN YOU HAVE NO SOUL. Pretty cute, huh? It's the picture of the tooth itself that kills me.

Translation: "Dear Tooth Fairy, I accidentally swallowed my tooth. So if you don't find my tooth I swallowed it on accident but you can still give me money or a toy. Love your friend Sophie Mathews.

Happy St. Patrick's Day from Sophie

Translation: I am lucky for my family. My sister cheers me up when I am feeling sad. My Dad always gets me treats. My Mom goes with me on a ride when I am scared. I love when I am lucky.

Sophie: An Author's Tale

My kindergartener has written a story.

She thought up the story at school last week, in collaboration with her class. She decided to write it down today so that, as she explained to me, "You can keep it in your special forever files, Mommy."

She grabbed her notebook paper and headed to her room, where she holed herself away to work. Then she emerged, a little shy to share what she had done, nervous about whether or not I would like it. But in her heart, she knew it was good. It was written on her face, in the shyly proud smile she wore as she read the tale aloud to me.

She is six years old and barely reading. Yet she just put down on paper a fully realized narrative, with a clear story arc and a structured beginning, middle and end.

She is brilliant. (I realize I am biased. But still. She IS.)

She spells phonetically, so here is a translation for anyone confused by some of her words:

I got a magic wand and I had a terrible day. You will never believe what happened first. I turned my mom into a baby. Then I turned my dad into a mouse. It was terrible. All my mom did was cry and scream. All my dad did was crawl. Then I heard a knock on the door. I came running to open the door. It was a wizard. He said, "Have you seen my magic wand?" I said, "Yes. I have a big problem. I turned my mom into a baby. Then I turned my dad into a mouse. Can you fix this?" He said, "Yes." And then everything was back to normal. I never want a magic wand again.

Currents: Sophie

Current Books:
She's reading, she's reading! She can officially read now, although she doesn't seem to realize it. If you ask her if she can read, she'll answer No. But she can. She loves reading all the books that are assigned from school. She reads them aloud to us, and then we sign a form and send it back to her teacher. She got a lot of early reader books for Christmas, and she still loves to be read to as well. Currently, we are reading the chapter book Tangled, from the movie.

Current Music:
She just asked yesterday if I could put "Gangnam Style" on my ipod, so she's a little late to that party. She and Emma both love "What Does The Fox Say." Have you heard that song and/or seen the video? Oh my. There must be some sort of subliminal message audible only to kids, because the girls go nuts over it and I just don't get it. Although Glee covered it, so maybe the song's appeal is less about age and more about my (lack of) coolness factor. Other current favorites: "Demons" and "Forget You."

Current TV/Film: 
TV shows: Sofia the First. Like, at the top. But also: Peppa Pig, Strawberry Shortcake, Powerpuff Girls. Movies: Frozen, Neverending Story, Little Mermaid 3, Aquamarine, and "The Harry Potter movie where she writes blood on the wall and that guy forgets stuff, except not the part where Ron throws up slugs." She's talking about Chamber of Secrets, and though I love me some Harry Potter, I rue the day she saw the slug bit because since then, she has been deathly afraid of vomiting. It's a full-fledged phobia, so the fact that she listed that as one of her favorite movies is rather ironic.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure:
Same damn thing as last time I wrote a post like this about Sophie...almost two years ago. She picks her nose and then delicately puts her finger in her mouth and eats it. I have tried everything I can think of - short of out-and-out shaming - to get her to stop. I don't want to embarrass her, that doesn't feel right. But we have talked about it and talked about it and talked about it, and I think at this point it's going to take one or several of her peers calling her out about it before the behavior disappears.

Current Other Pleasures:
She loves board games and playing pretend. She's just starting to get into play dates with other friends from school. She really enjoys swim lessons and gymnastics. She loves to snuggle and hug, is very quick to give and receive affection. She adores sneaking downstairs early in the morning on weekends and snatching the ipad, then creeping back upstairs and watching Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony to her heart's content while the rest of us sleep in. This morning she woke me at 6:30am because she was too excited about Taco Night to sleep, so apparently pre-planned dinners bring her pleasure as well. Honestly, she's a generally happy kid who gets pleasure out of almost everything around her.

Current Color:
Purple or pink.

Current Fetish:
Sophie lives to change her mind, particularly over food. For years, she ate 2-3 Gogurts a day. She loved them, to the point of obsession. Now, she won't touch them. Why, you might ask? "I just don't like them anymore." We went to Panda Express recently and Sophie ordered her usual, the same meal she's been eating from that restaurant for three years. But this time, she took a bite and declared she hated it. We will make all her favorites for dinner, and sometimes she devours it. Other times, she won't touch the food. She has been known to actually change her mind mid-meal. She'll eat half a hot dog or taco and then label it "disgusting" (one of her favorite words) and ask if she can have a piece of cheese instead. It. Drives. Us. Mad.

Current Outfit: 
Right now she is in her princess robe because she just got out of the shower.

Current Drink:
We are back to near-constant orange juice. She used to drink Crystal Lite lemonade, but doesn't like it anymore. (See Current Fetish.) She will drink Capri Sun lemonade and slushies, but will not touch milk for any bribe in the world and will only drink water out of a water fountain. She does, however, love fruit smoothies. Both girls have them every day for breakfast. Sophie's favorite combo is banana, strawberry, blackberry, blueberry, raspberry and mango.

Current Wish List:

1. To be able to do absolutely everything that Emma gets to do at the exact same time that Emma gets to do it.
2. To see a shooting star.
3. To get a puppy.
4. To go swimming in Florida "in a real pool OUTSIDE where it is warm and not winter."
5. For her hair to be long, or at least long enough to wear a ponytail. (She wore small ponytails to school recently and it looked so damn cute, and then the kids in her class - "even my friends, Mommy, even my friends!" - made fun of her "short little baby ponytails" and she won't wear them again. Peer pressure rocks, doesn't it?)

Current Triumph:
She recently mastered a "fast cartwheel," which she is excited about. She is highly skilled at tying shoes, takes her own showers, and can make her own toast and waffles in the morning. For a six-year-old, these are big things.

She is also very proud to be writing whole sentences and even whole stories at school. They have the kids write phonetically, so sometimes her writing is a challenge to read. But it's fun to try and figure out the thought processes behind how and why she spells words certain ways. Often times, her version of the word makes much more sense than how it is actually spelled. Plus, Chris and I get a kick out of seeing if we can decode all of her writing. It's like our own little mystery quest or something.

I cannot believe how far she has come in less than a year. Below is just one sample of something she wrote...check it out, Aunt Cara! (Click on the image to make it bigger.)

Translation: One of the best days is when I went to Indiana Beach. It has rides. We went on water rides, roller coasters and a real fast ride. We went into the water and we splashed each other. After, we watched fireworks. I love going to Indiana Beach!

  
Current Bane Of Her Existence:

1. Chapped lips. 
2. The unfairness of life. (Her very favorite phrase is, "That's not fair!" Used once a day, easily.) 
3. Anyone throwing up anywhere near her, within hearing or sight, ever. It absolutely terrifies her. If it happens in a movie or show, we must shut it off immediately. I did not realize how much throwing up happens in "family" movies until now. I'm guessing because most kids find gross things funny? I don't know, but it makes my kid borderline catatonic. She starts shaking, turns totally white, and hides her face and covers her ears. A lot of times, she literally goes and hides. It's an intense reaction, although slowly, by small increments, it is getting better.
4. Her stupid damn skin rashes that she keeps getting. 
5. Her tonsils, which are so swollen that she's had cold-like symptoms for two months.
6. Everyone always thinking she's a boy because she has short hair. Just a short list of the people we've encountered who have called her "little buddy" or otherwise flat out referred to her with male pronouns: two teachers, the grocery clerk, several kids at school, our UPS guy, and the receptionist at our doctor's office.

Current Celebrity Crush: 
Probably The Tooth Fairy and Cee Lo Green

Current Indulgence:
Stealing anything she can from the pantry and eating it on the sly. Oddly, this behavior has never occurred to Emma, but Sophie is all over that sneaky stuff. So far she's stolen candy, Oreos, fruit roll ups and Pringles. She also has a new habit of hiding things she doesn't want to eat in strange places. Ask Chris sometime about the squished-sandwich-under-the-sink episode.

Current Excitement: 
She's lost her first two teeth, and another is loose. This causes BIG excitement around here. She's also very excited to be learning new things. She comes home from school every day with new tales to tell. She sings us songs from music, details the fun games she plays in gym, and reviews the stories she is comparing and contrasting in class...always with a huge smile on her face.

She's at 19 marbles in her marble jar, which means just one away from a reward. Hence, all afternoon today, she kept pausing at whatever she was doing and declaring dramatically, "I wish I could get just one more marble." When I reminded her that marbles are earned by good behavior, she responded, "Yeah, I know. But that will take too long."

Current Mood:
On the whole, she is a sweet, slightly reticent, warm, sunny little girl. She can also be stubborn and moody and prone to tears, of course. But she is our little lovebug, throwing out frequent declarations of "I love you" and telling us all the time that we are the best mommy/daddy/sister in the whole wide world. Her smile lights up any room she is in, and she completes our family in ways I could have never ever dreamed.

Demons, Saints and Dead Crows

It's amazing to me, the subjects that can come up from listening to the radio...particularly now that the girls are actually paying attention to the lyrics of a song. Imagine Dragons' Demons came on, and Sophie was off to the races. (Note: my sentences often cut off because Sophie is a chronic interrupter who doesn't care for long answers. Oh, the irony that her forever burden is to be saddled with a rambling, inarticulate mother.)

Sophie: "What is a demon?"
Me: "Well, I guess a demon is something that haunts you, that causes you regret or"
S: "What is a saint?"
M: "Um...well, the word is often used to describe someone who"
S: "Why does he say there is a beast inside? Inside where? Inside his house?"
M: "I think he means inside himself, like"
S: "Inside his BODY? WHY? How did that happen? Like in the movie where the mom and girl switch bodies? Did he switch bodies with a demon?"
M: "Well, I"
S: "And why is he hot? Is it summertime? Oooh...is he the sun?"
M: "Well, that's a good thought, but I think he might be referring to"
S: "What does 'kingdom come' mean?"
M: "Oh, my. Well. It's a religious term, I guess, referring to what happens when someone dies, like if they see the kingdom"
S: "Crows are so beautiful when they die."
M: "Um...what?"
S:  "When a crow dies, then all the other crows make a circle around the dead crow and feel very sad about him being dead."
M: "Really? That is beaut"
S: "And then they fly away and the dead crow is eaten and that's the circle of life and it is very natural and no one can do anything about it. You can't fight it, Mom. You can't fight the circle of life."
M: [speechless]
S: "I think a demon is a bad monster, and he is telling someone to not get burned by the demon, which is him, or they will have to see the king in the kingdom and ask for medicine."
M: "Uh, I think you are probably right."
S: "Not probably. I AM right. Because you just have to listen to the words, Mommy. The words tell you the story, that's what my teacher says. I'm not making this up."
M: "Well, thank you for letting me know"
S: "Mom, stop talking! I can't hear the music!!"

Survival instinct

Clearly, my kindergartener is a genius.

The polar vortex has nothin' on the tooth fairy

So, remember that last post a couple days ago where Sophie lost her first tooth and was all like, "Oh, Hi blood! Nice to see ya. Let's be friends" and her picture looked like she was being held hostage and trying desperately to send info about her location with her eyes and I predicted that the Tooth Fairy would be visiting us again soon because the ousted tooth's neighbor was leaning at a 45 degree angle and seemed ready to bolt any second?

Well, the whole point of the above rambling paragraph is to preface the use of one of my favorite sentences in the English language: I WAS RIGHT.

It's hard to see the space at the bottom where the two teeth used to be because she was literally clamping her jaw shut with excitement. But trust me...it's there. The space, I mean. Not the teeth. They be gone.

This time there was no muss, no fuss. Sophie asked Chris to pull the tooth out because she thought it was ready to leave. (By this point the tooth was literally lying prone in her mouth, so I think she assessed the situation correctly.) However, just as Chris accepted the challenge, Sophie decided maybe she'd try yanking it out herself. And then..boom. Reach in, pull out, done.

So the tooth fairy came again last night, undeterred by the weather. That's twice now that she's braved the polar vortex, so clearly she's a pretty tough lady. (I think T.P. is a woman, but my daughters think the tooth fairy is a man who looks suspiciously like Dwayne Johnson.) Anyway, polar vortex is, as far as I can tell, just a really cool way of saying that right now it is very, very, very cold. Everywhere. Over 30 states are under some type of danger warning, and the vortex has been messing with the Chicago area pretty impressively. Basically, if you take a foot of snow and throw in record-breaking temps (at our worst, we had a high of -6 degrees - A HIGH - with a -30 wind chill), then you have a polar vortex. Ta-da! School was cancelled for two days, and basically all of Chicagoland shut down Monday. But does the tooth fairy let stupid polar vortexes slow her down? HELL NO. Lady's got a job to do. This, more than anything, is why I'm convinced that Ms. Fairy is a woman.

Here are a couple photos I took of our backyard, right after the snow fell and before true polar vortex hit. The quiet was so deep and profound and peaceful...like the snow had wrapped up the whole world in a thick, comforting, very-very-not-warm blanket.

Mother Nature is so damn cool. I wonder if M-Nat and T-Fairy know each other? I hope so. Cool chicks should totally stick together.

Teeth, blood and fairies...oh my!

Sophie "lost" her first tooth last nigh.

I put lost in quotes because the tooth did not leave of its own volition. It had been loose for awhile, and I think it was ready to come out. But the tooth actually separated from Sophie's mouth only after she tripped and did a face plant into the ground. So the tooth was not really lost; it was ousted.

As is typical in these types of situations, there was blood. If Sophie had injured another body part and even the tiniest drop of blood had been spied, sobbing and hysteria would have insued. But because she was so damn excited to lose her first tooth, the blood became a badge of honor. We rinsed out her mouth with salt water a few times, and that was that. Not a word of complaint.

Tucking her in for bed, I was dismayed to see that she hadn't cleaned up her room. "Sophie, I hope the Tooth Fairy can make it to your bed tonight without tripping. It's dangerous in here."

Sophie replied, "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy flies. You don't have to worry about that. She is very good at her job."

This morning...five dollars! And T.F. even left behind the tooth so it can be placed in Sophie's tooth box, which she has been patiently waiting to use now for over a year.

Sophie was right...that Tooth Fairy is a total professional. And that's a good thing, because the ousted tooth's neighbor is barely hanging on. I think we'll be seeing T.F. again very soon.

Christmas...and getting old...and Christmas!

We had a wonderful Christmas this year.

(And yes...I turned 40 as well. Thankfully, with the distraction of Christmas on the same day, my birthdays have never been a very big deal to me. So, yes...I am now 40 years old, it didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would, and that's really all I have to say about that.)

We hit the road for Indiana on the 23rd, despite a last-minute alert from my sister that my mom and dad were both pretty sick. My poor mother felt so horrible, she missed celebrating Christmas Eve with her family for the first time in...well...40 years. (Do the math.) We still had a great time, but it wasn't the same without her. By Christmas Day, the healthy were still healthy and the sick were less sick, which was a much-appreciated blessing that didn't last long. (Foreshadowing!) Santa went way overboard with the kids (somebody really has to have a talk with this guy), and then we headed over to my Dad's to...yes...open more gifts. Between my family and Chris's family and Santa and friends, the girls have more new things than they know what to do with. (Literally. We are still trying to figure out where in the hell to put it all.) But as always, the most wonderful part was just being together...not just our nuclear four, but with my parents, sisters, brother-in-law, nieces and nephew. Having us all in one room at the same time is becoming an increasingly rare occurrence, which makes it all the more treasured and special.

And then Christmas night hit, and all (flu-induced) hell broke loose.

I believe by the end of the week, the toll of people struck sick in my family included 16? And it was mostly the stomach flu, a particularly brutal kind. It was like being stuck in a tornado of puke. It hit both parents, my sister, my nephew, my gran, aunts, uncles, cousins. Sophie was the only one of us four to escape completely unscathed. I guess one benefit to spending your days around fellow germ-infested kindergarteners is that your immune system gets really strong really fast. (I mean, seriously...5 and 6 year olds are like walking petri dishes.)

We can never seem to get through the holiday season without some kind of illness, and this year was no exception. But despite or because of Pukefest 2013...and turning 40...this particular Christmas felt extra memorable.

And now...pictures! (My major Christmas gift was a new camera. I'm guessing you can spot below which were taken with my awesome present and which were taken with whatever nearby cell phone we could grab. Can't wait to play more with my new toy!)

All duded up for Christmas Eve! 

First thing Christmas morning, checking out the haul from Santa.

Santa brought the girls Nerf bow and arrow sets and holders for their Rainbow Looms, but I think each girl loved their individual gifts best - a unicorn glow pet for Sophie and a blanket with her beloved dolphins for Emma.

I made these! (And yes, I totally AM patting myself on the back right now, thank you.) It was my gift to our family, and I can't wait to find the perfect place to hang them.

This was my gift from the girls...with quite a bit of help from Daddy, I suspect. Every time I look at it, I tear up.

Me and Grifin - recent high school graduate and nephew extraordinaire!

I love kids' faces when they open a gift that really excites them. Plus, I just love these faces because they belong to my awesome nephew and niece.

And speaking of faces...my sister will kill me for putting this photo up. Which, of course, is exactly why I had to put this photo up.

Christmases and birthdays are great, but I'll never get a gift better than these two.

Here's Looking At You, SIX

Our baby turned six years old today.

To celebrate, we threw a crazy, chaotic, and loud (oh so loud) birthday party with 18 kids, 2 babies, and a handful of very brave adults. The house was overcrowded with bodies, voices, sounds...and love. Lots of love for our smart, spunky, inquisitive, sweet, mercurial, kindhearted, funny and fascinating Sophie Patrice.

Cookie Cake in My Little Pony colors.

The birthday girl, soaking up the attention.

So many presents! Very generous friends and family.

Miss Sophie and Miss Julie rock it out.

Our six-year-old!

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And a brief video that illustrates the ruling dichotomy of the day...calm (mostly girls, sitting and chatting) on one side, and chaos (mostly boys, annihilating my amazing sport of a husband) on the other. Totally. Awesome.

First Sentence

Warning: this is a brag post.

Sophie is doing so well in kindergarten. When she started, she wasn't really writing words or reading at all. She knew her letters and numbers, and she could write her first name, but that was about it.

Today, this came home with her school work. It might not look like much, but she wrote this entire sentence with absolutely no help from the teacher. She is BRILLIANT! Our little genius. :)

(She spells phonetically, so the sentence says: "I loved this story because Franklin got a present from his Mom and Dad." She even capitalized the names correctly!)

School Photos

Fourth grade and kindergarten. Wow.

Sophie, meet Kindergarten. Kindergarten, meet Sophie.

I'm baaaack!

I know, I know...I've barely posted in months. For the three people that were adversely affected by this, I'm really sorry. Life has been pretty hectic, and this blog has been one of the sacrifices I've made in the name of time management. (When time-constrained, why are the things we do for ourselves, for our own pleasure and satisfaction, often the first to go? Hmmm. Discuss amongst yourselves and let me know what you discover, please.)

Sophie going to kindergarten finally gave me the impetus I needed to post again. Because, you know, in case that first sentence flew right by you: MY YOUNGEST, MY BABY, IS NOW IN KINDERGARTEN!!!!!

Sophie is so flipping excited about going to the "big kid" school, the same place her big sister attends. The administration put a lot of effort into making sure the students felt comfortable, slowly prepping them for what school will be like before expecting them to jump right into a full day. Sophie had three days of kindergarten "orientation" last week, where she went in from 12:30-3:00pm and, from what I can tell, drew a lot of pictures. Then she received her teacher assignment (Hello, Mrs. Doyle!), and Thursday was her official first day. She was nervous initially because, oddly, very few kids from her preschool are attending Covington, and she didn't see any familiar faces during orientation. But then, some good news: we found out that two friends of hers are in her class...including her beloved Willie. The minute she and Willie spotted each other in line, all was well. They just kept looking at each other and grinning like idiots. They even held hands as they walked inside together. Pretty damn cute.

By all accounts, her first day went well. She seems to really love school. (Sixteen more years of the same, please and thank you.) This morning she popped out of bed and asked, "Is today a school day?" This is a potentially loaded question, so I wasn't sure what reaction I would get when I tentatively answered yes. She promptly started jumping on her bed and scream/singing, "Yay! School day, school day, I get to go to school today!" so I suspect she was okay with it.

She's now on the same schedule as Emma, my newly-minted 4th grader. (Yeah. I know. Time flying and all that. Wow.) Having them at the same location is divine. No more driving Emma one place and Sophie another. Our mornings are much more mellow now that I can just walk them both to school and drop them at the same place. And having them both out of the house is nice, too. (Is it bad to admit that? Well then, I guess I'm bad to the bone.) They've been home with me since summer camp ended Aug. 2nd, and we had a great time together. But my to-do list keeps growling at me like a wild animal, and I'm a little tired of staying up til 1:00am every night trying to jam 10 hours of work into 4 hours of time. So being on a regular schedule again is a very, very good thing. So good, in fact, that I'm gonna go bounce on my own bed and scream "Yay for school!" until I lose my voice. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

And now...pictures!

One Happy Mutha

Mother's Day has become my favorite day of the year. I was born on Christmas (as I think maybe I've mentioned once or twice or many, many times before), so until Mother's Day came along, I didn't know what it was like to have a day totally focused on me and nobody else. And I gotta say...I dig it. A lot.

Today marked my tenth Mother's Day. (Hell YES, the "in utero" one counts!) As usual, my family pulled out all the stops. I was greeted with flowers, handmade gifts, a new apron, a digital picture frame, a gift card to my favorite nail place, and lots and lots and lots and lots of love. My girls were actually waiting right outside my bedroom when I first woke up, pouncing on me the minute I emerged and bursting with excitement to give me their gifts. Nothing in the world can match the feeling of knowing that there are people in my life - people that I MADE - who love me so intensely that they literally cannot wait to make me happy.

I am so grateful to my husband for letting me be a lazy bum all day, and for always making me feel like the most amazing mother on the planet. And to all the moms I know - especially to my mommy Christine and mother-in-law Pat - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

This is the pic on my apron. So cute!

This is Sophie's rendition of me. I think she made me look really beautiful.

This is from Emma. On the far right (partially hidden under a feather) it says, To be the best is good, but love is better. She told me, "I came up with that all by myself, just from thinking of the kind of mommy you are to me." Ha! I'm with Emma - being the "best" anything, especially the best mom, is impossible anyway; I'd definitely rather have love. I'll never stop being fascinated by the way this kid's mind works.

Quote of the day

Sophie: "I love all the peoples in our family, even if they are naughty or weird-looking, just the way they are!"

Well, Don't Get A Big Head About It

The girls started swim lessons today. They both did really well and had a lot of fun. We were sitting pretty far away, so it was hard to get any good shots. I managed a couple of so-so ones.

Sophie (in two-piece) takes the leap.

Emma walks the plank, readying to jump.

I did snag one great action shot of Emma jumping off the diving board...but unfortunately, my husband decided to step right in front of the ipad at the exact moment I hit click.

You can see Emma just to the right of my husband's enormous beautiful head.

These Are Our Demands

Emma and Sophie were upstairs yesterday "cleaning their rooms" (ie, playing/reading/fighting/giggling/procrastinating) when Chris found this note at the foot of the stairs:

(Background: Emma talked Grandma Kitty into buying her a huge stuffed seal from Ikea. She may be the teensiest bit impatient about its arrival.)

Sophie then came downstairs, delivered this note, and solemnly exited the room without a word:

(Background: the kids miss their grandparents, aunt and cousins. A lot.)

They were clearly very serious, so Chris and I were careful to make sure they were both out of sight before cracking up laughing. One thing about kids - one of the BEST things about kids - is that you truly never know what's coming next.

Christmas: A Photo Essay

We got almost no clear photos of Christmas this year (fail). Here are the few that came out. Happy New Year!

Emma makes a new friend at Brookfield Zoo's Holiday Magic.

The carousel is ALWAYS a hit.

Hitching a ride.

Christmas morning at Grandma's house.

Santa was very good to the girls this year. Sophie kept exclaiming, "I'm so glad he didn't bring me coal!"

Santa is real and lives in Chicago Ridge Mall

We took the kids to see Santa yesterday. This was the first year they were both actually excited to see him, which was fun. However, the "elf" who was taking the picture was so annoying. Her idea of getting a sobbing, terrified child to calm down was to scream the child's name at the top of her lungs while making ridiculous faces that made her look like she was having a seizure. (Yeah...that's gonna make the children less scared. Good strategy.) There was a baby that went before us that was so incredibly chill. She had the most beautiful eyes...eyes that had seen a lot and had stories to tell, you know what I mean? The eyes of an old soul. And the moment the baby was placed on Santa's lap, she just kept staring up at him with the most serene look of complete recognition. She and Santa gazed at each other for at least 10 seconds, and it was the Cutest Thing EVER. I was like, "That's the shot! That's IT! Take the damn picture, elf!" But all the stupid woman cared about was getting the baby to look at the camera, so she just kept screaming and waving and contorting and totally missed the boat. Chris couldn't believe how worked up I got about the damn photographer, but she was a deeply annoying woman and obvious amateur with no artistic instincts whatsoever (not that I'm judgmental or anything) who didn't deserve the privilege of working with this amazing Santa.

Because amazing he was. This dude was the realest-looking Santa Claus that Chris or I had ever seen. His beard was real! No age makeup! Clearly, he was a pro. He was soft-spoken and gentle, but also authoritative and grave. The girls ate up his every word. He listened very carefully to their requests and looked each of them in the eye when they spoke. Then he told the girls that they had been mostly good this year, but that they needed to stop fighting and help out Mommy more. (Santa almost got a lap dance of gratitude from me on that one. I wonder if the damn elf would have photographed THAT.)

Emma is absolutely, 100% convinced that he was the real Santa. (I think it was the beard that got her.) Real or not, he was one hell of a step up from the mall Santa we had a few years ago that was about 25 years old and looked like a serial killer. So thank you, Mr. Claus, for a job well done. (And no one will think less of you if you ship that annoying elf off to Easter Island or something, Santa. She seriously needs to go.)