Deep Car Thoughts

Snippets of conversation from our ride to school this morning:

"Mommy, there's a man's hole!" Emma shouts.
"Huh?" I reply.
"A man's hole, like in Enchanted!"
"Oh...a man hole," I clarify. "Yes, you are right, that is a man hole."

A few seconds later...

"Giselle [in Enchanted] falls down the waterfall and then comes up the man's hole, just like dying," Emma says.
"Huh?" I reply.
"She goes to a different place - from the waterfall to the man's hole - just like dying," Emma explains.
"Oh...I think I see. Did somebody tell you that dying is like going to a different place?" I ask.
"Yep. My teacher."

A few minutes and much explaining later...

"So," Em asks, "when we go on vacation, then we aren't dying?"
"No Emma, we do not die when we go on vacation."
"Oh good. So what do we do when we [I hold my breath at this point, certain she will finish the sentence with the word "die"]...go on vacation?"
"Oh, lots of things!" I answer with relief. "It depends on where we go."
"Okay. So, what do we do when we go on vacation to hell?"

Support the Cause

My friend Erica is having a lumpectomy tomorrow. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago. She is 29 years old.

This disease seems to be affecting so many people I love. Two of my closest girlfriends - Bonnie and Meg - both have wonderful, strong, vibrant mothers who also happen to be breast cancer survivors. Laura, another of my closest girlfriends, is currently watching her mother-in-law fight the disease. My college roommate Ragan passed away from breast cancer last year...at age 31.

I have always been aware of breast cancer, but now more than ever I see that it can strike any woman at any age. So be proactive about self-exams, and encourage the women in your lives to do so too! And for those that would like to help fight for a cure but just aren't sure where to start, here's an idea for you: support Erica as she participates in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this June by donating to her fundraising campaign.

Erica, I am thinking of you tomorrow. And thanks for sharing your story, because now I'm also thinking more of my daughters, my mother, my sisters, my friends, and myself.

School

Yesterday we took Emma to be evaluated for entry into the Chicago Public Schools' gifted program. Apparently they screen the kids using some mysterious method deliberately kept secret from the parents, and those children deemed "gifted" are then eligible to attend a handful of accelerated-learning public elementary schools.

We weren't allowed to go into the interview room with Emma, so we have no idea what happened. The entire thing took about 15 minutes, and according to Emma she had a lot of fun drawing pictures and answering questions. She said she forgot how to write the letter H, but her "teacher" told her that was okay and that he was very nice about it. I was nervous the process was going to be traumatic for her somehow, but she seemed to really enjoy herself and kept saying, "I can't WAIT for kindergarten!" The only reason Chris and I took her was because one of the schools that has been highly recommended to me by other parents is in this gifted category, and we wanted to keep our options open when deciding where to send her next year. We find out next month which schools she has gained entry to based on testing and lottery, so...we shall see.

In the meantime, Emma loves her current school so much. She always looks forward to going and rarely wants to leave at the end of the day. I hope that love continues through kindergarten and beyond. They have a school camera, and they just sent the latest batch of photos around to the parents. It brings me so much joy to see Emma obviously having fun interacting with her teachers and classmates. Here are pics of Em with each of her teachers:

Emma (in polka dots) doing calisthenics with her teacher Jake.

Emma during storytime with her teacher Louise.

Emma goofing around with her teacher Ben.

Me and my girls

Chris actually got behind the camera for once! (Love ya babe, but we all know who the photographer is in the family.)

Sisters...and friends?

My girls seem to actually like each other. For real. They play together and enjoy each other's company. On Emma's school days, Sophie goes from room to room searching for her, and Emma cries if she doesn't get home before Sophie is in bed. It's sort of nice. And strange. And lovely. I mean, it's exactly what I'd hoped for, but I didn't know if it would really happen - and I certainly didn't expect for it to happen this soon.

I feel compelled to document it because I am well aware that it may not last. So here's a video from a couple days ago of them playing their own, made up games. I believe Emma was playing "dead" and then giving chase. They had no idea the video camera was on. They were just...enjoying each other.

Random Thoughts

These random thoughts have popped into my head at various points today...

• Revisiting high school photos is like perusing the wedding album of a failed marriage - yes, some nostalgia exists...but mostly it's just painful.
  
• It takes too much time to maintain the illusion of perfection; I can barely keep up the illusion of adequacy.
• Seeing my child dance to the Dixie Chicks is solid proof that I've done something right as a mother.
• How is it possible to miss someone standing right next to you?
  
• Cheesecake is wasted on the young.

Birthdays and Barfing and Clean Apartments!

The girls and I just got back from our trip to Indiana to celebrate Cadin's 1st birthday. Happy birthday, Cadin Michael! We had so much fun. It was a weekend of family, and the girls ran wild and thrived on all the extra attention. Emma and Callie were inseparable as usual, and Cadin and Sophie couldn't stop touching and mimicking each other. Here are a couple pics of the two sets of cousins hanging out.
The worst part of the weekend was Saturday morning, when a very sick Chris announced he wouldn't be coming to Indiana with us because he had a wicked case of the stomach flu. Not only did I feel awful that Chris felt so badly, but I also dreaded travelling with the girls alone. But travel we did, and despite one dead car battery and no radio for the whole trip back, it ended up being fine. And the BEST part of the weekend was coming home to a relatively healthy husband - who missed us all terribly - and an absolutely immaculate apartment! I'm still stunned. Chris cleaned every single room of our place, all while trying to keep down toast. Amazing. He even had pizza waiting for us when we walked in the door, and actually apologized to me because he didn't have the energy to mop. :) How many men out there (or women, b/c hell - I wouldn't do it!) would use a free 24 hour pass while recovering from the flu to go on a several-hour cleaning spree? I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about our girls, but not nearly enough time extolling the many and varied virtues of my glorious spouse. So Chris, here's your much deserved blog shout-out. I love you baby.

Missing Mama

I've been working a lot of evenings lately, and neither of the girls are really digging it. Emma soldiers on just fine most of the time. She lets me know she misses me, and she always wants to know which night I'll next be home to tuck her in, but she generally takes my absence in stride. Sophie, however, has flat-out had enough. She wants me in the apartment, by her side, always. We spend all day every day together, so you would think she'd be done with me by the time Daddy comes home. And at first, this is true. Sophie lights up when Chris walks through the door, and they have their hugs and kisses and special Daddy-daughter play time. But after about 30 minutes or so, she starts to look for me again. And once bedtime rolls around, she is literally searching room to room for Mama. Chris, bless him, tries so hard to distract her while I'm dashing around looking for keys/scripts/bag/shoes/coat/etc. But if she happens to catch a glimpse of me or a snippet of my voice, then forget it...game over. She screams and cries until I either a) put her to bed and pray I'm not too late for rehearsal or b) make a quick escape and leave behind a 15-month-old mess for my wonderful husband to sort out.

I'm sure she'll get used to my nighttime absences eventually. Unfortunately, she's gonna have to because my evening hours aren't going to let up for a few months yet. It is hard to hear her so upset, and of course I feel guilty, but I'll admit it - sometimes her constant, intense need for me can really get on my nerves. Never for long though. All I need is a tiny break, and then one glance of her desperately reaching out her arms for me is all it takes to pull me back in. The truth is, Sophie has me wrapped around her little finger, and she knows it. She's my baby, my youngest, my last. She just slays me. And although I can bristle at her clinginess, it is also immensely gratifying to feel so...so loved by another person. I mean, motherhood is often a thankless job, you know? So when those moments of gratification present themselves, I'm grabbing on with both hands.

Sophie's new discovery

Sophie figured out how to turn on the bathtub faucet by herself today. It took her some time, but she was very deliberate in her process and overjoyed at her eventual success.
However, her happiness soon turned to outrage when she realized her arm wasn't quite long enough to actually touch the water.
So close, yet so far.

Our girls

Pensive and Snaggletooth...

February - the month of Grandma

The month of Grandma has begun. For various reasons, we are seeing my Mom every week this month, and the girls are PUMPED. Mom came up Saturday to watch the girls for us while we went to my theater company's fundraiser. As soon as we buzzed Mom in, Emma shouted "Grandma!" as she flung open the door and Sophie crawled faster than I've ever seen her, going "Ga-ma, Ga'ma!" Approximately five minutes after Mom's arrival, both girls had accosted her on the couch and formed a Grandma sandwich.
Emma managed to get Grandma alone during Sophie's naps, and of course she took full advantage of the time. Here she is with Mom, playing Beauty Parlor.
Meanwhile, the fundraiser - a Rock Band tournament planned very effectively by my little sister Jayme - was a huge success. We made a lot of money and had a great time. I don't think anyone had more fun than Chris, though. He was one of the "celebrity" judges of the event, and he was in rare form. Here he is as Ozzy Osbourne...with his daughter Kelly (a.k.a. our friend Whitney).
Next weekend, we are off to Indiana for Cadin's 1st birthday party. And now...I must take advantage of an empty house and get to work!

Sophie will kill me for this someday, but...

...too cute to resist - Sophie waiting for her bath to fill today.