Bus Dressing

Oh, School Bus, the lessons you teach us.

Emma burst from the bus this afternoon and started shouting before her feet even hit the ground.

Em: "Mommy! I have a very bad thing to tell you. Some mean boys on the bus said that you were a pass dresser."

Whaaa?

Me: "A pass dresser? Are you sure they didn't say 'bad dresser'?"
(This would totally make sense because I pick her up every day in my sweat pants. I do almost everything in my sweat pants. If I weren't already married, I would propose to my sweat pants.)

Em: "No Mommy, that doesn't even make any sense. They said pass dresser. What does 'pass dresser' mean?"

I started to ask if they said "fat dresser."
(This would totally make sense because...well, just because.)
But then Em jumped in again.

Em: "Wait! I forgot. They said you were a maniac. What does 'maniac' mean?"

Whaaa?

Me: "A maniac? How strange. That sounds nothing like 'pass dresser.' Um, let's see, a maniac is someone who acts very..."

Em: "Wait! I remember now. A trespasser. They called you a trespasser! What does 'trespasser' mean?"

Whaaa?

Me: "Wait a minute. Slow down and explain to me exactly what happened."

Em: "Well. I was doing something that those teenage boys didn't like very well and they told me to stop and I did stop but then they said, 'Your mother is a trespasser.' And I said, 'Don't you talk to my Mommy like that!' and then they laughed at me. They made fun to me and I don't even know why."

Me: "Wow. That's a lot to take in, and I can see why you are upset. The truth is Em, sometimes people are mean just because they can be. Who knows what those boys were thinking or why they said what they said. But thank you very much for defending me."

Em: "What does 'defending' mean?"

Me: "'Defending' means sticking up for somebody else, like you did for me with those boys."

Em: "Yeah, but they laughed at me."

Me: "So? Who cares what they do? The important thing is that you stood up for yourself and told them to stop."

Em: "That's true, I did do that. And you know what? It felt really really really really good."

That's my girl.

p.s. I still have no idea why I am a trespasser.