Sarcasm Takes Practice

Emma went camping with her friend over the weekend. She was gone for three days, and we missed her terribly. She called every night before going to sleep. This was our conversation on Friday night.

Phone rings.

Me: "Hello?"

Em: "Let me tell you about my 'adventurous' day."

Pause.

Me: "Well, hello to you too. Yes, please, tell me everything. What did you do?"

Em: "Mom. That was sarcasm. Didn't you hear it?"

Me: "Oh. Um...not really. I mean, it's hard to know if you are being sarcastic unless I know what you are being sarcastic about. I need a little more context, you know what I mean?"

Em: "Oh. Okay."

Click.

Pause.

Phone rings.

Me:  "Hello? Em? Did you just hang up on me?"

Em: "Let me tell you about my 'adventurous' day. First, Charlie [the dog] threw up all over me. In the car. On the highway. My shirt was ruined and I had to sit in it the rest of the car ride! Then, I had to go to the bathroom REALLY REALLY bad and we couldn't stop, so I had to pee in a cup. A cup! Can you believe that? Boy, do I love camping!"

Pause.

Me: "Oh honey. I'm sorry you've had such a rough day, but I must say...I think that's the best sarcasm you've ever done. You really nailed it. Great job."

Em: "Thanks, Mommy! I worked really hard on it."

Gettin' It Right, One Father At A Time

There is something about fathers and daughters.

I have gotten a lot wrong in my life, and a lot right. But whether it be luck or providence or instinct (or, more likely, an amalgam of all of this and more), something divine and lovely led me to the best decision I have ever made: choosing the most kick-ass man in the world to procreate with. Whenever I despair about trying to raise two confident, independent, centered, and unapologetically strong women, I comfort myself with the knowledge that they already have a major leg up. They have a Daddy who loves, respects, accepts, and champions them. A Daddy who would do anything for them. A Daddy who works tirelessly to provide for them. A Daddy who celebrates who they are and nurtures who they will be. A Daddy who is constant in his love and attention. A Daddy who relishes living in a house full of women. A Daddy who will always, always, always be there for them. So, I figure Father's Day is a wonderful excuse to honor the best damn father I know, Mr. Christopher Robert Mathews. We love you, baby.

Today is also a great time to acknowledge ALL the amazing fathers out there that are doing their best, and doing it well. I came across a blog post the other day from one such father that touched me so deeply. I don't know this person at all. He is just someone I stumbled across online whose words and thoughts reminded me of my own husband and the wishes we have for our daughters. Click here to read his open letter to his daughter. Seriously. Go ahead. You'll be glad you did.

Happy Father's Day to all the daddies far and wide...especially to my own Daddy, Larry P.

Beauty. Love. Safety.

Rough night in the Mathews household.

Emma was a grumpy, mouthy mess most of the afternoon. Finally, after multiple reprimands and consequences, I asked out of sheer frustration, "What is wrong with you?"

She climbed onto my lap, put her arms around me, buried her face in my chest, and started unloading a jumble of thoughts that were clearly weighing heavily on her. She doesn't like the way she looks. Her hair has holes in it and doesn't "stick together" and hang straight like she wants. Her face is a mixture of mine and Chris's, but she doesn't look like either one of us, just a weird blend of both of us that doesn't add up and makes her feel "like I'm not yours, like, for real." She likes her legs and her feet and her arms, but what does it matter if her face and hair are not perfect? Kids at school tell her she looks weird. Her teeth are crooked, her eyes are too big, her nose is "fat," her ears stick out. She hates all the clothes she wears because they don't cover up her face, and she wants me to help her change it, change her, so she looks like somebody new, somebody beautiful.

I was completely, utterly stunned. I tried hard to take in what she was saying and not just rush in with compliments and contradictions. I endeavored to keep my expression neutral, but my mind was churning with despairing thoughts: Dear god, this starts at eight years old??? I am wholly unprepared to tackle these issues so soon. What do I do? What do I say? What do I not say? How to proceed?

I told her I thought she was beautiful. She said I was just saying that because I am her mom. I told her that what she was feeling was common, that many people struggle with accepting who they are and how they look, including myself. She said she didn't believe me. I told her that nobody is perfect, and that our imperfections are actually what make us most beautiful, both inside and out. She said she didn't understand.

So I just shut up and held her. After awhile, she mumbled into my neck, "I don't want to leave here."

I thought she meant that she didn't want to leave our apartment, because we are moving in three days. But she clarified that she meant "here" literally, as in where she was at that exact moment.

"When I am in your arms, I feel safe. Your skin is warm and I can feel your heart beating and I know that you love me no matter what. I wish I could always be with you, and then I would never be scared."

I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Emma, what you just said was beautiful. That is beauty. Love is beauty. All the rest of it - the hair, the face, the clothes - those are just distractions. Please don't let yourself get distracted."

She took this in, looked into my eyes, and said, "Okay. I think I understand, Mommy. That I understand."

I held her for a bit more before Sophie got tired of sharing me and wiggled her way in between us. I watched Emma resume cleaning her room, still struck dumb by the most mature and profound conversation I have ever had with my daughter. Then I prayed that the next time she feels unworthy - whether it be five minutes, hours, days, months, or years from now (oh please god, let it be years...can it please be years?) - she will remember the safety of my arms as she navigates the twisty road of self-doubt and self-loathing. Because honestly, as much as the knowledge terrifies me, I know that a safe place to fall is the only true and tangible thing I have to offer her. The rest she must do on her own. And I think she knows it too...which is a pretty shitty lesson to learn at eight years old.

Emma Bloomers Turns Eight

Emma's eighth birthday was Saturday.

It's always a hectic time of year for us because her big day is surrounded by several other important events: Chris's birthday, several close friends' birthdays, her Paw-Paw's birthday, and Father's Day all in a one week span. It's been an especially hectic time this year because we just closed on a new house (FIRST. HOUSE. EVER!) and are preparing to move this Saturday. So amid the chaos of boxes, to-do lists, and elevated stress levels that currently make up our lives, we squeezed in a birthday celebration for Miss Emma Bloom.

We went out to lunch and then to the pool for the afternoon. Although it was a pretty laidback celebration, the day still required some planning and an extra vehicle (thank you, Aunt Jayme!). Luckily, it all went off without a hitch...with one troubling exception. Emma invited three friends along, and two of the girls were utterly delightful. The third? Um...well, since I don't really derive any joy from denigrating second graders, I'll just say that one of Em's friends was apparently having a bad day and decided to bring some screaming and public tantrum-throwing to the party. Chris and I handled this alarming and oft-repeated behavior with as much compassion as we could muster, while exchanging looks that essentially translated to, "Hmmm...maybe our eight-year-old isn't as bad as we thought?" Ultimately, I had to have a rather uncomfortable conversation with the girl's mother and father, who were as lovely as any parents could be under such awkward circumstances. The whole thing was unfortunate, but Emma still had fun, which is all that really matters.

Because life seems to be moving at warp speed at the moment, I haven't had a chance to really process that my first baby is now eight years old. Truthfully, only one thing comes to mind as I think on it now: I feel really, really old. Of course, I also feel really, really lucky to be the parent of such an amazing, fierce, and dynamic little girl. But that has nothing to do with Emma's age, and everything to do with her heart.

Love you, Emma Bloom.

 Pay no attention to the boxes that have completely overtaken our apartment. 

I'm trying not to dwell on the fact that our home currently feels like an obstacle course.

Emma with her friend Juliette. 

Nothing like a birthday sundae and several waiters singing to you in a crowded restaurant to put a smile on a girl's face.

How Many Movies Am I Holding Up?

Sophie and I went to Target today so she could pick out a birthday gift for Emma. We found ourselves in the DVD section, where Sophie promptly pointed to a movie on the shelf.

Soph: "We could get her this Despicable Me. She hasn't seen this one."

Me: "Yes, she has. You both have. That's the one you have at home already."

Soph (pointing to an identical copy): "What about this one? Let's get THIS Despicable Me!"

Me: "That's the same movie."

Sophie frowned, but kept silent. Then she spotted yet another copy of the movie.

Soph: "Okay, let's buy this one! This one we haven't seen!"

Me: "Honey, yes you have. They are all the same movie. There is only one Despicable Me."

Sophie: "No, there isn't. There is three of them. See?"

Me: "Well...yes, there are three copies of the movie here, but they are all the same. See? Look at them side-by-side. The pictures on the front are all the same. It's the same movie."

Sophie: "But it's NOT the same movie. They are three DIFFERENT movies. I staring at them!"

Me: "I know it's confusing, but inside the box, it's the same movie. It's just Despicable Me in all three of them."

Soph: "I KNOW that. But they are different despicables, and I want to get the one that Emma hasn't seen."

Me: "Sophie. No. They are not different. That's what I'm trying to tell you. They are all the same movie."

Soph: "Mommy...ugh! Just...LISTEN to me. I KNOW they are all Despicable Me. I want the Despicable Me squeakuel. Like the chipmunks. WHICH ONE IS THE SQUEAKUEL?"

Me: "Honey, there is no squeakuel...er, sequel, for Despicable Me. It's not the same as the chipmunks. There is only one movie."

Sophie: "NO THERE ISN'T, THERE IS THREE! ONE, TWO, THREE!"

Me: "Sophie, stop screaming and listen to me. I know there are three boxes, but..."

Soph: "I AM COUNTING THEM. ONE! TWO! THREE!!!"

Me: "SOPHIE! Yes, there are three movies in my hand, but they are ALL THE SAME MOVIE!"

Suddenly, a heavenly angel Target employee who had overheard our entire exchange grabbed all three movies right out of my hand and said, "Whoops! These aren't supposed to be out here. They're broken! We can't sell any of these today. Sorry!"

Sophie and I both looked at him for a few seconds with our mouths hanging open. Then my previously apoplectic four-year-old merely shrugged her shoulders and said, "Oh. Okay."

Before I even had a chance to thank him, he turned abruptly and skedaddled down the aisle and through an "Employees Only" door with all three bothersome copies of Despicable Me stuck snugly under his arm. After he was completely out of sight, I turned to Sophie.

Me: "Well? What do you want to get Emma?"

Sophie: "Um...let's get the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie...the SQUEAKUEL one."

Me: "Done."

Sophie: "Do you think that movie will be broken too?"

Me: "No, baby. I think that movie will be perfect."

Anyone Know of a Drama Exterminator?

Sophie just went on this giant, rage-filled tangent about how Chris hid her Nintendo DS from her and now she can't find it and he had NO RIGHT to do that because it is her DS and she doesn't understand why he would do something like that and then just LAUGH about it because it is NOT nice to laugh and do mean things to other people and why would Daddy DO that to her? When she finally stopped to take a breath, I pointed out that her DS was sitting in full view, for all to see, on the dining room table. She paused, cocked her head, and said, "Hmmm. Maybe I just dreamed that Daddy hid my DS? Or....maybe he hasn't done it yet? Ohhhhhh. I bet that's it. He is going to do it tonight at family dinner. Mommy, you need to tell him NO, that hiding things is NOT NICE."

I woke up this morning to the sounds of Disney's "Victorious" shaking our apartment's walls. I peeked in the living room and found Emma completely dressed and eating breakfast in front of her TV show. She said she'd been up since "5:25am, in the morning." I asked her to please turn down the TV before she woke her sister. We played cat-and-mouse with the volume; she'd turn it down a couple of notches, I'd ask for more, she'd turn it down one more notch, I'd demand still lower. Finally, I told her to turn the volume below 20 or else the TV goes off. "20?!?" she shrieked. "That's, like, whispering. Ugh. I can't wait until I'm a grown up and can drink soda and make the rules. I hate being a kid. How am I supposed to bear it?"

A Rocken Mother's Day for a Rocken Mom

Because my birthday is on Christmas (which, yes, has always kinda sucked), and Christmas is really all about the kids (and rightfully so, in my opinion), Mother's Day is my best "me" day of the year now. My family goes out of their way to make it really special, and this year was no exception. Check it out!

A bouquet of flowers from each girl to start my day...pink-tipped roses from Emma and "rainbow flowers" from Sophie. (Clearly, Sophie has inherited my knowledge of plants b/c I would have dubbed them the exact same thing.) They were both quick to point out that they picked out their own ribbons too.

As you all know, I am obsessed with photo books. Well, my husband has apparently jumped on the bandwagon. Welcome to the funhouse, Chris! Emma made and decorated the green paper house for me, and Chris put together an awesome Mother's Day photo book that I will seriously treasure forever.

Emma made me many wonderful drawings and cards, including a meticulously rendered sketch of Gir from "Invador Zim." (And really, what mother doesn't want a drawing of a weird-looking robot for Mother's Day?) But the above poem that she wrote for me was my absolute favorite gift. She was so proud and insisted on reading it out loud. I LOVE how this girl's mind works. (p.s. I've never had carrot juice in my life.)

I loved the outside of Emma's poem-card too (above). I am particularly fond of the exclamation point family.

Sophie was in a bit of a mood on our family walk...I think she was regretting her decision to adamantly refuse to draw or make me anything all week long after she saw the huge haul her sister gave me and all the extra hugs and kisses of thanks Emma received as a result. :) (Don't worry - she got plenty of hugs and kisses of her own! But everything's a competition with sisters, you know.) She was pouty, and she needed major coaxing to sit and smile for the camera. Right after the above picture was taken, the girls ran off to fight over who could pick the most dandelions and Chris and I screamed at them to get out of the way of bikers flying down the jogging path and Sophie's shoe kept falling off while she ran and she eventually ended up bursting into tears because she didn't want fish sticks for lunch, even though no one had mentioned fish sticks for lunch. So all in all, a typical Sunday...which is to say: AWESOME. I love my sweet, combative, nonsensical, divinely imperfect family just the way we are, and I'm grateful every day that they love me too.

Happy Mother's Day to all the "rocken" moms out there!!!!!

Photo bombs

Chris and I actually went to a fancy smancy gala a couple of weeks ago. It was really nice to have a dressy, adult evening together, and we are grateful to our friend Robb for hanging out with the wee ones for the night.

I finally got around to downloading the photos of that evening from my camera, and I discovered some surprises. I learned two things: 1) It really sucks to see yourself captured on film during a moment in which you actually thought you looked good and realize that, in fact, you looked the exact opposite of good; and 2) Below is what happens when you leave your kids and your camera with Mr. Robb Rabito.

 

 

 
 

 

Sophie on a Tuesday

A lot of ground can be covered on the car ride to school...

--------------------
Sophie: "Where do mustaches come from - caterpillars or butterflies?"
--------------------
Me: "You have a substitute at school today. Miss Louise isn't feeling well, so Cary will be your teacher."
Soph: "Cary is a nice guy." [pause] "Yeah. I think I can work with him."
--------------------
Sophie loves to chew her food into weird configurations and then "play" with them. For about 10 minutes this morning, all I heard from the back seat was oddly-shaped pop-tart bits talking to each other: "This is the ladder. This is the sliiiiiiide. This is the ladder. This is the sliiiiiiide." When I finally hit my breaking point and asked Sophie to stop, she replied, "But it isn't me, Mommy. It's the pop-tarts. And pop-tart mommy said it was okay."
--------------------
Sophie: "If I had $5 and could get anything I wanted from the grocery store, I would get reg-lee-er juice, a candy bar, fun dip, cowgirl rope, a ring pop, and a pair of boots."
--------------------
Soph: "I miss Emma."
Me: "I know honey, but you'll see her tonight."
Soph: "I love my sister. I love what she says. She is the smartest sister that I ever have, did you know that, Mommy? It's true! Look it up!"

Emma on a Monday

Em: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Me: "I don't know...why?"
Em: "To get a chicken roast!"
[crickets]
Em: "Get it? Chicken roast? Cause 'roast' is like 'road', but you just switch the last letters and you have R-O-A-S-T? It's like a play on words."
Me: "But that doesn't make any sense."
Em: "But it's FUNNY! It's a lot funnier than 'to get to the other side.'"
Me: "I agree, 'to get to the other side' isn't very funny either. But I think 'to get to the other side' is supposed to be ironic. It plays with expectations. Like, people usually expect jokes to have a twist, but 'to get to the other side' is a sensible answer. So I think they are going for irony."
[pause]
Em: "I have no idea what you are talking about."
Me: "Well..."
Em: "'Chicken roast' makes sense! The chicken wants to eat a chicken roast - get it? Get it? And that's what makes it funny!"
Me: "Okay. If you say so. But I think the general rule with jokes is that if you have to explain why the joke is funny, that might be a sign that it's not the best joke."
Em: "Well, that doesn't make any sense. If I don't explain that the chicken roast man is on the other side of the road and he's giving away balloons and the roast smells really yummy, then people won't know why the chicken wants one so badly!"
Me: "Okay. You win. I take it all back. Great joke."
Em: "Thank you."

My New Show. COME.

Is anyone else finding that the humidity is wreaking havoc on their hair? Mine is longer again for the first time in years, and the closer we get to summer, the more I look like Bozo the Clown. But hey...I digress.

Guess what ya'll...I'm in a new show!

As most of you know, one of the places I work for is Erasing the Distance, a kick-ass organization that sheds light on mental health issues through theatre. I am ETD's Communications Director and an actor in the ensemble. We have an amazing world premiere opening May 14th called Good Enough, which features the stories of five women living with depression or bipolar disorder, and guess who is performing one of the stories? That's right...ME!

I am very proud to be part of this show for a myriad of reasons, but top of the list is the (sad) fact that it is extremely rare to be in a play with an all-female cast, plus a female director, stage manager, and production manager. I've been acting since I was 9 years old, and this is the first time it has happened to me. HOW COOL IS THAT??? (Obviously, I think it's pretty cool.) Don't miss your chance to see five glorious female actors rock the stage, because it doesn't happen very often folks. The play is at Chicago's Center on Halsted, and I invite all you local yokels to come out and get your Good Enough groove on! (No, it's not a musical. I don't know why I keep using musical analogies. I think it's because I'm kind of excited for Rock of Ages? But I'll stop now.) Anyway, click here for all the Good Enough details.

Also - below is a short promo video we made about the production. Check it out! And then, I command you: grab your girlfriends, order your tickets, and get thee to the theater! Me and my hair ginormous clown wig will see you there.

You Will Peruse This Photo Book...AND YOU WILL LIKE IT

I don't scrapbook. I hate crafts, I can barely sew on a button, and don't get me started on quilting/crocheting/knitting/etc. But I do attempt to document things, albeit very sporadically, through this blog...and dude, I love photos. Know what I love even MORE than photos? Putting together my family's yearly photo books.

In the past, just about the only person who witnessed my photo book handiwork was my poor husband, who is typically forced every year to view approximately 22 different drafts and then attempt to tell me which version he likes best without letting on to his hyper-sensitive wife that, in reality, he can't tell any of them apart. (My husband is a master at emotional tightrope walking. He has been studying for over 16 years, and at this point he has at least six different graduate degrees in ETW from the Jenny-Math Institute for People Who Love Emotional Time Bombs.)

But this year, I can share my photo book with THE WORLD! (And by THE WORLD, I mean the 16 people who read this blog faithfully.) And since all 16 of you know how much I love phoning in rounding out blog posts with photos, you know I'm not gonna turn down the opportunity to shove my family's gorgeous photogenic genes down everyone's throats.

So without further delay, I present the Mathews Family's Year In Review: 2011. Check it out below or click here if you want to see a larger version. Either way - enjoy! (Oh - and if you aren't in the book, it's probably because we didn't see you that year and/or simply have no photos of you from 2011. It's not because we don't like you or you pissed us off or we fear your ugliness will muck up our beautiful photo book, I PROMISE.)

Currents: Emma

Current Books: She just told me she loves Liz Kessler books, especially Philippa Fisher and Emily Windsnap. She is reading Philippa Fisher and the Fairy's Promise at the moment. She just finished The Watsons Go To Birmingham 1963 and wouldn't stop talking about it. I caught her giggling out loud when reading it more than once. (As a huge reader myself, this sight made my heart absolutely SOAR.) She is eagerly awaiting her birthday because I made a stupid promise one year ago that she could start reading the My Sister The Vampire books when she turned 8 years old, so now I have to stick to it. Of course, I remember reading my mother's Danielle Steel books when I was around her age, so there are worse things.

Current Music: She is super duper in love with Selena Gomez right now. I seriously hear "Love You Like A Love Song," "Who Says?" and "A Year Without Rain" in my sleep. She and I are both really digging Taylor Swift's new song off the Hunger Games soundtrack, "Safe and Sound."  I try to push her toward these types of singers whenever I can, but unfortunately Kesha is still on our playlist too. However, I feel I've been at least mildly successful in influencing her musical choices because she loves her some Kelly Clarkson and Pink, and really...who in their right mind doesn't??

Current TV/Film: TV: "Austin & Ally" and "Wizards of Waverly Place." She would be loath to admit it, but she also gets sucked into a lot of her sister's "baby" shows. We haven't been to a movie in awhile. I think the last one was Lorax, which both girls seemed to enjoy. Her all-time favorite movie of the moment is Dolphin Tale.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasures:

1. Running around naked, smacking her butt and chanting "Shake your booty, shake shake your booty" while I huddle in a corner and try to resuscitate her unconscious father.
2. Putting her hands under her shirt and pretending she has "boobies."
3. Blowing bubbles in her dirty bathwater, a pastime she's seduced her sister into doing as well.
4. Gleefully sticking her stinky feet in my face.
5. Having heated, one-way conversations with various game characters as she's playing her Nintendo DS.
6. Wearing her favorite pair of jeans several days in a row. She'll only stop after I order her to put them in the laundry, and not before she falls to the floor, cradles the jeans to her chest and shrieks, "But they aren't gross yet, I swear! JUST ONE MORE DAY!" 

Current Color: Black, blue and purple. (Check out the "Current Color" section of my recent Currents: Sophie blog post, to which I say: A-HA!)

Current Links: ST Math, Disney Coloring Pages, and Funny Kitties songs on Youtube.

Current Fetish: She will only wear pants and t-shirts. The pants must be skinny jeans or leggings. No pants that are "puffy" and make her look fat. (Oh yes, that is a direct quote. And oh yes, it pains me terribly.) Still no dresses. Also, she always wears at least two ponytail holders around each of her wrists because "the colors help make her hands pop."

Current Outfit: Black leggings, blue t-shirt.

Current Drink: Lemonade, water, green tea. Soda whenever she can sneak it past me.

Current Wish List:

1. To not have to changes schools when we move to our new house.
2. To get her ears pierced.
3. To have a huge party for her birthday.
4. To move to Indiana, St. Louis or Florida (near family members) instead of living in Chicago, where "there is nothing to do."
5. To have her own phone, laptop and ipod.
6. To go to Florida and meet Winter the dolphin.
7. To have a bunk bed.
8. To drink soda "with every meal for the rest of my life."

(Guess how many of these wishes are going to come true? I'll give you a hint: it rhymes with "sun.")

Current Triumph: I don't know if this counts as a triumph, but she just got her hair cut and she's pretty excited about it. Also, she's now lost six teeth and happily shares that fact with complete strangers, along with the fact that she's "practically a third grader."

Current Bane Of Her Existence: Well, this could go on forever. Learning to ride a bike, the wind blowing her hair, muscle cramps, homework, wearing jackets, clothes that itch, spiders, wet hair on her neck. When I asked Emma directly, here was her reply: "Sophie annoying me and you telling me to do things that don't make any sense, like be responsible. Oh - and be sure to put in there that I don't like casserole."

Current Celebrity Crush: Selena Gomez and Winter the dolphin

Current Indulgence: Jewelry. She just used her own money to buy "Best Friends" bracelet and necklace sets. She gave the matching bracelet to her friend Violet and the matching necklace to her friend Olivia. She also has an Emma necklace from Grandma Kitty and a bracelet from Gigi that she wears almost every day.

Current Excitement: She is so excited for her birthday. Like, SO EXCITED. She's been talking about it since February. Seriously.

Current Mood: Dramatic. Ebullient. Unpredictable. Giddy. Mercurial. Dynamic. Tenacious. Maddening. Utterly, completely entertaining. A glorious tornado of opinions, thoughts, and feelings...that's our Emma Bloom.

Currents: Sophie

Current Books: Some of her favorites are the Pinkalicious and Frances series of books, Marcel the Shell, Skippyjohn Jones (she only has the first book but listens to the author read them all on CD). But she also loves chapter books. We've read the first Secrets of Droon book three times and she likes the Disney Fairies series. She also loves this app on Chris's phone where Grover reads Monster At The End Of This Book.

Current Music: She just asked today if I could put Nicki Minaj's "Turn Me On" on my ipod. But she'll still listen happily to Laurie Berkner. She's a musical conundrum. Chris has been playing both girls The Beatles' "Yellow Submarine" at night on his phone for a lullaby, but the song on his phone that they most adore is "The Duck Song." If you haven't seen the video, check it out below. Then picture my girls re-enacting it word-for-word, which they have done on multiple occasions.

Current TV/Film: TV shows: "Wow Wow Wubbzy," "Peppa Pig," "Team Umizoomi," "My Little Pony." Oh, and "Powerpuff Girls," of course. For movies...she says her favorite is anything with Ariel (ie, My Little Mermaid or Ariel's Beginning) but she also loves the Barbie movies. Anything girly-girl.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Oh god. It's so gross. She picks her nose and then delicately, discreetly, puts her finger in her mouth and sucks. I have tried saying something to her about it more than once, but she just gets embarrassed and hides under the table. (Literally, this is what she has done every single time. It's like a pre-programmed response, as if someone hypnotized her and then suggested she climb under the nearest table immediately upon hearing the phrase "Please stop eating your boogers.") I don't have the heart to ask her to stop anymore. When I was little, a boy at school ate dirt every single day during recess. By the handful. Like...he gobbled it. So if she likes the taste of her own snot, who am I to judge? Eventually a peer is gonna give her grief over it, and the behavior will cease. Or maybe not. Kids made fun of the dirt-eating boy all the time, and he just kept scooping the stuff into his mouth with a smile on his face.

Current Color: When I asked her what her favorite colors are, she said black and purple and blue. But I think she is just saying that to copy her big sister. (Although when I stupidly said this comment aloud, it was greeted by outraged tears and much foot-stomping denial.) I think her true favorite colors are purple and pink.

Current Links: She isn't on the computer much, but she plays a lot of Internet games on Chris's phone, like The Cupcake Game and The Fairy Game and The Dora Game. (Do you sense a theme?)

Current Fetish: Hmmm...this one always stumps me. I think it's the word "fetish." It conjures decidedly un-preschoolish images in my mind. But let's see...I guess the one that drives me the most crazy is her "actually" fetish. For example, I will ask if she wants a waffle for breakfast, and she will say no. Then, approximately 30 seconds later, she'll say, "Well, actually, I do." Or we will pick out a book for bed, get all snuggled in, and then on page 10 she will declare, "Actually, I want to read a different book tonight." Or I will make her a sandwich for lunch, and she'll take two bites and announce, "Well, actually...I wanted soup." She always emphasizes the word "actually" in this passive-aggressively hostile way, like she's doing so just to drive the point across that SHE OWNS ME. The only other fetish I can think of is leggings. The girl will not wear anything but leggings. Period. Oh - and she's pretty much obsessed with her Nintendo DS and Xbox's "Rayman" game.

Current Outfit: Blue dress with multi-colored flower/asterick thingies all over, pink striped leggings and black boots.

Current Drink: Lately, it's all lemonade all the time. We drink sugar-free Crystal Light, which is basically just flavored water, so I consider this a major step up from constant orange juice.

Current Wish List: She talks often about swimming in a pool. Every day, when the sun is out and it's even remotely warm, she asks if we can go to the pool. I explain to her that the pool is not open yet, and then the next day, she asks again. She has swim lessons every Saturday, and at least one point during the day Sun-Fri, she asks if today is the day she has swim lessons and can swim in the pool. We are in the process of (hopefully) buying a house that comes with an above-ground pool, and while I am thrilled about finally owning our home - and in particular, this home - for a multitude of reasons, I get most excited imagining her joy when it sinks in that she has a pool in her own backyard.

Current Triumph: No more pull ups at night! She's been potty trained for almost two years, but we haven't been able to get past wearing a diaper at night. I wasn't stressed about it at all - her sister was the same way. We worried about it a little bit with Emma, but one day she just didn't seem to need them anymore and that was that...so I figured it would go similarly for Sophie. Of course, in almost every other situation in which I've assumed the second daughter would behave just like the first daughter, I've been dead wrong. But in this case, I was actually right! (Cue the band, folks. That's worth a few crashing symbols at least.) Sophie inexplicably started staying dry all night a couple weeks ago, and she hasn't had a single accident since we tossed the pull ups for good. She is ridiculously proud of herself for this...as she should be!  

Current Bane Of Her Existence: She hates when people laugh at her. It's a problem, because she does a lot of genuinely funny things and can't seem to decipher the difference between when someone is laughing with her and someone is laughing at her. From her perspective, it always feels like we are mocking her and she gets very upset and demands we stop. So we've gotten in the habit of turning our faces and stifling our giggles so she doesn't see, which to me feels more like mocking her than just laughing openly, but it keeps her happy. She also complains of a stomachache almost every day, which both breaks my heart and worries the hell out of me. They don't slow her down; she doesn't act sick. But on an almost daily basis she utters the words, "My stomach hurts." I don't know if it's what she is eating, or anxiety, or something more than that. I've been advised that if she doesn't seem to be in actual physical pain (ie, doubled over, not eating, throwing up, etc.) then to let it go, but I'm starting to wonder if I should take her to the doctor. I just hate to open up that door of various tests, etc, if we don't need to. If anyone has any suggestions for this, send 'em my way please!

Current Celebrity Crush: Right now, the Easter Bunny

Current Indulgence: Slushies

Current Excitement: She can't wait to go to real school. Of course, I've explained to her many times that she won't be old enough for kindergarten for over a year, but I don't think she gets it. She is also very excited to be allowed to chew gum when she turns five and to grow her hair long.

Current Mood: Unpredictable. She's grown moodier as she's grown older. She can be so happy and light and silly one day, and then grumpy and whiny and tantrum-y the next. It's hard to predict and even harder to control. But at her core, she has a kind and loving nature. Right now we are just trying to weather the storm and live for the sunny days.

Photos, Photos, Photos

It has come to my attention that I have been horribly remiss in my blog postings lately. Perhaps on another day I will wax poetic about all the reasons why, but right now I just don't have time. (I know, I know...my life is just so terribly busy and important, isn't it? ISN'T IT?!?)

In the meantime, feast upon the fast food of blogger-dom...PHOTOS!

Emma as a Starbucks barista in her school play.

Grandma Kitty and Daddy with the breakout star!

The girls with cousin Micah, Gigi and Paw Paw in St. Louis.

Playing Banana Boat in the park.

The kids enjoying their gifts from the Easter Bunny.

Striking a pose at the Botanical Garden.

Family pic! (Yes, all three girls are in pajamas. That's just how we roll here, peeps.)