My show just opened last night. It went really well. I hope people come out to see it. I think it's pretty funny, and we have a blast performing it, but the rehearsal process has been really difficult. This is probably the most physically draining show I have done in a long time. There are so many little nuances to the script, and I'm required to do a lot of fight choreography, which is something new for me. Also, the pace and intensity of the show is relentless. By curtain call, I am so drenched with sweat that my hair is literally dripping. But I have a lot of fun doing it. I mean, how many moms get to beat people up, have a cat fight, and play with guns every night as part of their job?
I'll wrap up this wrap up by listing some choice gems from the girls over the last few weeks that I've posted on Facebook. Thank God for FB, or I'd never get these funny things documented and my mind would never retain this stuff. They definitely continue to keep us entertained!
- One day while running around trying to get too much done in too little time, Sophie grabbed my leg and asked, "Mama, come sit wif us, please? Just a tiny little bit and make me so happy. Please??" How can anyone resist that?
- Emma's dentist knows how to keep kids still. She has a TV in the ceiling for the kids to watch movies while lying in the chair. Emma decided she wanted to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. A few minutes into the flick, Em stunned the room into silence and embarrassed her father beyond words by yelling, "Hey! Alvin just took out his penis!" (We think it was his tail she saw, and she was just confused. We THINK. We are actually not sure. One can never be sure with Emma.)
- Em got off the school bus one day toting a scraggly-looking stuffed bull and a Hanna Montana doll with one arm missing. She informed me that we owed her "friend" Michaela $14 for them. Apparently, Miss Michaela is selling her old toys to gullible kids like my daughter and calling it "a yard sale on the bus." When I asked rhetorically how in the world a little girl could come up with something like this on her own, Emma answered, "Well, she's 9."
- After swimming at our friend Nancy's condo building, Em declared that she wanted to move in with Nancy so she could go to the pool anytime she wanted. "Wouldn't you miss Daddy?" I asked. Long pause. Then Em piped up, "Well, we could still visit him. But only when it's raining."
- We've been up and down with Sophie regarding potty training the last few months. Well, to be honest...it's been way more down than up. I haven't been that worried about it because I knew we'd focus more once summer hit. However, at a recent birthday party, my paranoia button was triggered. There was an adorable little girl, not yet two years old, who was completely potty trained and wearing panties. Whereas MY daughter announced that she had to pee and then urinated all over the host's floor.
- We heard a loud thump in the back of the car while driving one day, like someone had bumped into us or something. As I looked over my shoulder to see what was up, Emma calmly explained, "Don't worry, Mama. It's probably just one of those metal thingies that fall out of the sky."
- During a particularly dramatic time out, Emma started shouting, "Stupid mother! You are the most worstest mother in the whole world!" After she'd calmed down, we talked about what happened. "Mama, that wasn't me who called you stupid," Em explained. "That was Mr. Anger talking. I told him to be quiet, but he was screaming so loud that he didn't hear me."
- Sophie had splotches of dried fruit juice stuck to her face from breakfast, a fact Emma failed to register or acknowledge until we were in the car, on the highway. Suddenly she starts shrieking in my ear, "Mama, Sophie has red bumps all over her face! It's chicken pox, it's chicken pox! Don't let her TOUCH ME!!!!"
- During the week between Em's last day of school and first day of summer camp, Sophie was beyond excited to have her big sister around all day long. No matter where we went that week (i.e. the gym, my agent's office, our doctor, the grocery store), Sophie would gesture grandly to her sister and greet everyone she saw by saying, "Hi! This is my friend Emma. She's just come from school."
- Distracted while running errands, I narrowly avoided rear-ending another car at a stoplight. "Whoa, I better watch where I'm going," I said. "I almost ran into the car in front of me." Emma rolled her eyes and muttered, "Uggh! Woman driver."
- Whenever I take a shower, Sophie insists on standing right outside the bathtub and asking every five seconds, "Mama? You still in dere, Mama?" Like there's a trap door that I'm gonna escape through or something.
- While trying to cram my SUV into a tiny parallel parking spot, Emma shouted from the backseat, "This parking space is built for a mouse on a bike!"
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