Tonight is the first rehearsal for my new show. It is the first play I've done with a theater company other than Infamous in over four years. With the exception of one distant acquaintance, I know nobody in the cast or crew. As always when starting a new job, I'm a little anxious. But I'm excited too. I put on my new red sweater, some earrings, a little makeup. Of course, as any good loved ones would, my dear family sensed my nervousness and immediately attempted to bolster my confidence and set my mind at ease.
Me: "Hey girls? I am going to wear my locket with your pictures in it, so you will be with me tonight."
Em: "How can we be with you if we are here at home? We aren't going to your workshop..."
Me: "Workshop? What am I, Santa Clause?"
Chris: "Well, you are big and red, so..."
Oh, yeah. He said that. I am 99% positive that's what came out of his mouth. However, Chris claims that what he REALLY said was, "Well, you are baking bread, so..." Seriously? That's the best he can do? Since when does Santa bake bread?
Now I am asking, in complete and utter sincerity - can one person out there claim to believe him? Because honestly, I need a very compelling argument right now AGAINST doing physical harm to my spouse, a.k.a. Mrs. Clause.
3 comments:
I knew you would leave off the ENTIRE backstory..so that he bloggersphere knows why I made a reference to baking bread.
For you bloggerists...the REAL tale of events:
OK. Elayna, our neighbor downstairs, brought us up some baked bread, which was awfully sweet. I came home from work and the kids were excited for dinner, Emma particularly. Jen didn't have much time to cook, she had to get ready for rehearsal. I promised the kids Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Emma got excited, but confused, and started jumping around asking Jen to bake some soup and bake some bread! We both found that funny and Jen even mentioned that it would be "magic" for her to get that done in the time she had left to get ready for rehearsal.
Cut to a bit later and Emma's discussion with Jen. Jen says "What am I, Santa Clause?" which I took, in their conversation, to mean magical. So I say "Well, you are baking bread..."
Honey, no one believes you. The Internet has spoken.
Post a Comment