Couldn't make this up if I tried...

Leaving the house this morning, the girls and I actually had this exact conversation:
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Me: "Sophie, why is your dress all pulled up?"
Sophie: "Because. I scratchin' my butt."
Me: "Oh. Okay, then. By all means, carry on."
Emma: "Hey! I thought you said we should only scratch our butts and vaginas in private."
Me: "Well, that is true..."
Sophie: "Emma, you are big. I am three. It's okay to scratch your butt if you are three."
Me: "Well put, Sophie. Still, Emma has a valid point."
Sophie: "What 'valid'?"
Me: "Well..."
Emma: "Besides, it feels good to scratch your vagina. Why is that, Mommy?"
Me: "Um...well..."
Emma: "But we do it in private because if boys saw, they'd be soooo jealous because it feels so good and they don't have one. Just like they don't get to make milk in their boobs. Right, Mommy?"
Me: "Um...right."