Emma Tells A Story

pajama party & beach

Em had her first pajama party last night at her school. Her teacher Ben just introduced and implemented the idea last month, and so far it's going well - he gets to earn some extra money, parents get a nice break on a Saturday night and the kids enjoy a sleepover-like atmosphere of games and activities for four hours once a month. Emma was very excited to pick out which pjs to wear, and she kept telling people all day she was going to a "pajama'd party!" I think she had a LOT of fun. She played limbo and musical hugs (the music stops and you find someone to hug) and jungle gym and sang songs and flew balloons and ate pizza and made a Fruit Loop necklace and just had an all-around great time. Here are a couple pics from when Chris picked her up - in the first one Em is on the right, being tickled on Ben's shoulders. The second kinda speaks for itself.
Then today we all went to the beach. The wind was really strong, so we were all covered in sand before we even found a place to sit. We only lasted about an hour before Em started complaining about being cold, but it was still nice to be out and together. Chris even took the girls for a little walk and let me lay in the sun for awhile, which felt positively divine. Gotta get those beach days in while we can, right? Besides, today our littlest turned 9 months old, and what better way to commemorate than to take her out and get her coated in dirt?

The Chase

Feeding Time!

Like A Moth To A Flame

Now that Sophie is mobile, she doesn't stay put for long. She likes to explore a room, feel different textures on the floor, wedge herself into tiny spaces under furniture, see how far she can roll before running into something. But there is only one place Sophie consistently goes to every single time, despite re-routing, distractions or various obstacles....and that's as close to her sister as she can possibly get.

Jugglers Don't Just Perform in the Circus, Baby

I recently had a "photo shoot" at my work, and I use that term incredibly loosely b/c the entire process basically involved an intern, a digital camera, and numerous attempts to snap one picture where we were all facing front and not blinking. I had to take both girls with me b/c I had no child care that day, and as the whole thing was only going to take half an hour, I didn't think it would be that big a deal. But of course, nothing is ever that easy, is it?

First of all, we were meeting at 3pm - right smack in the middle of nap time. So Emma was pretty tired, having just finished her last day at camp, and Sophie was downright crabby. All was fine when we first arrived, but the minute I tried sitting Sophie in the stroller, facing me, and then walking more than one foot from her to join the group, she freaked. While I encouraged everyone to ignore the crying and Just. Keep. Shooting!, Emma decided to wander off from her appointed post beside the stroller and hide, thereby sending me into a panic attack when I realized she had disappeared. Outside. Near a busy street. I quickly found her under the stairs, crawled on my hands and knees (in my expensive black pants!) to retrieve her while Sophie continued to wail, walked her back by the stroller and bribed her to stay put. Photos again commenced until one of my co-workers noticed that Em was standing funny. Potty break! I took both girls into the bathroom as fast as I could while everyone else was - again - forced to wait for me. Sophie calmed after we returned and we finally got our group shot. Then we moved on to individual photos, and Sophie immediately begins a meltdown similar in intensity to Miranda Richardson's kitchen scene in Damage, complete with snot, tears, and eventually vomit. At the same time, Emma has planted herself in a corner, shouting "I. Don't. Want. To. BE! HERE!" over and over and over again. Eric snapped one picture of me and I'm like, Done! I didn't even know if I was in the camera frame, let alone if I remembered to smile or had food in my teeth or whatever...didn't care. I threw the diaper bag over my shoulder, scooped up both girls one under each arm (I am not kidding), pushed the stroller with my foot, and we were outta there.

I left feeling so frustrated and humiliated that I am apparently a) incapable of being professional for even 15 minutes and b) the mother of freakish alien maniacs. But after I calmed down a bit, I realized how blessed I am to work at a place that allows me to do the vast majority of my job from home and finds it totally normal and acceptable that I miss meetings for reasons such as "my kid needs a nap" or "my baby just threw up." Not to mention having co-workers willing to play frisbee with my four-year-old and peekaboo with my infant (without complaint, may I add - in fact, with SMILES ON THEIR FACES) while I try to strike my best glamour pose.

Adventure Stage Chicago, I'm so grateful we found each other. I'm really proud of where I work and what we do. If you have any interest whatsoever in checking out the final product of intern Eric's glorious photography skills, you can click here.

And to Emma and Sophie, all I can say is karma has a sick sense of humor sometimes...so when the day comes that you complain to me about how embarrassing it is to conduct a meeting with a stinky diaper in your bag or give a presentation with leaking breasts and spit up on your shirt, I am gonna have myself a good long laugh.

Last Days of Summer

Emma's day camp ended on Friday, and her soccer team played their last game today. Chris tried to get some good action shots of her on the field, but honestly she spends most of her time either waiting to go in...
...or standing around watching everyone else on the field go for the ball.
But she's having fun, so who cares, right? After the game, she received a special gift from her coach...
...her first trophy!
I think the countdown to fall has officially begun...as Em said yesterday, she can't wait for the "leaves to fall down." Sigh.

The mystery of ham

Soon after serving Em lunch today, she came looking for me in the kitchen.
Thrusting her hand out palm up, she demanded, "What is this?"
"It's ham, honey," I replied.
"Hmmmm...," she said dubiously, staring at the ham. Then she turned abruptly and headed back to the living room.
Seconds later I heard her utter in disbelief, "You were right Sophie, it is ham."

Sophie's On The Move!

The many facets of Emma

In the interest of fairness, and accuracy, I feel I should balance out a negative Emma post with a positive one. So let me once again extol the many virtues of Em the big sister. I didn't truly realize how lucky I was until I compared notes recently with some other school Moms with new babies of their own. Their stories shocked me. Either the older child was physically abusing the younger, constantly jockeying for sole attention, or just ignoring the younger altogether. Em does none of these things. The first thing she asks in the morning is, "Can we go get Sophie?" She gives Sophie frequent kisses and hugs, sings to her, plays with her, soothes her when she's upset, retrieves her toys when she loses them, translates for me what she thinks Sophie is saying, and entertains her with dancing, funny faces, pratfalls, etc. She is infinitely patient when Sophie demands my full focus. When I ask Em to keep Sophie company while I'm packing for the gym or making lunch or going to the bathroom, she is (almost) always happy to help. And, as you can see from the picture below, she even likes feeding her! In all honesty, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen Emma truly upset with Sophie (although she does get pretty annoyed when Sophie pulls her hair).
Emma can be challenging, but she can also be extraordinarily generous and loving and patient for a child her age. Or for a child any age, for that matter. She often confounds us, but to me she is a classic example of a child who knows she is greatly loved and therefore feels completely safe exploring and expressing the best and worst parts of herself. At least, that's how I like to look at it - mostly b/c that theory makes Chris and I sound like amazing parents instead of the clueless lumps we often feel we are.

Master Manipulator

Emma is the queen - no, king - no, MASTER at manipulation, particularly when it comes to avoiding bedtime. As soon as we say goodnight, turn out the lights, and shut the door, the games begin. Sometimes she needs a glass of water. Sometimes she misses Grandma. Sometimes she is scared. Sometimes her pink blanket needs straightened. Sometimes she forgot to tell me something. Sometimes her Ocean Wonders has turned off. Sometimes she needs rocked. Sometimes she has to pee. Sometimes she comes out sobbing, demanding we pay attention to her. Other times she just stands mute in her doorway, waiting for us to discover her like some silent demon child when we happen to wander into the kitchen for something. (Let me tell you, no matter how many times she pulls this one, it ALWAYS makes me scream.) Some nights these games go on for 10 minutes...other nights it can be 2 hours. Once in a great while, just to lull us into a false sense of victory, she actually goes to bed without a peep. But it is only at her choosing that she does so...and the reprieve never lasts for long.

We've tried ignoring her. We've tried putting her straight back to bed every time she gets up. We've tried the Supernanny "no talking" method. We've tried the Chris and Jen "screaming at the top of our lungs" method. We've tried threats, we've tried praise, we've tried bribing and begging. (Oh, you may judge me now, but let me send her over to YOUR house for a few days and you'll soon be begging too, trust me.) Nothing seems to work.

Tonight, I'd had it. I told her in no uncertain terms that we weren't doing it anymore, that's it, when the door is closed and lights are out that means GOOD NIGHT and no amount of crying or screaming is going to change that. She seemed to get it. I closed the door, and she was silent...for about 5 minutes.

Now she's in her room, crying and screaming, "I miss Sophie P., I miss Sophie P., I forgot to kiss Sophie P., I miss Sophie P.," over and over and over and over again. I gotta give her credit for putting a new twist on an old move. She is nothing if not inventive. Usually if she misses someone, it's one of her various grandparents or possibly Miss Louise from school...she's never played the sister card before.

If anyone has any tips on how to deal with this, share. Please. In fact, do more than share...come to our house, kick us out for a couple of hours, and let the magic commence. We will ask no questions of your methods. If you manage to quiet the bedtime beast, we'll fall to our knees and kiss your feet in gratitude...and maybe even name our next car after you.

Seriously. You have our address. Drop by anytime. But be sure to bring your A game b/c Emma is a very formidable competitor.

Camp

Emma has really been enjoying her day camp at the park district. They've driven scooters, flown parachutes, enjoyed water slides, played baseball, and made lots of crafts. Here's Em on her way to school this morning, wearing the shirt she tie-dyed at camp last week. She is so proud of it! And SO glad to be going back to school (as is Mommy, I must say).

No love for Mommy

Tucking Emma into bed tonight, I felt especially close to my little dynamo as we swapped silly kisses and hugs. Savoring the moment, I leaned in and whispered, "I love you, my darling." Her instant reply? "Hey! You're laying on my belly, dude."

Graduation

Yesterday was Em's school graduation, and we met in the park for food, games, and a little ceremony for all the kids leaving this fall for kindergarten or another preschool. All the children received homemade yearbooks, a tee shirt, and a rose. The graduating kids' shirts said "Graduate 2008" on the back, and they also received a diploma and a beautiful glass toothbox individualized for each child with a caricature of themselves on the bottom drawn by their talented teacher Ben. All the kids were SO excited, and everyone had a great time. Here's a pic of us all at the gathering (Em in middle on ground, Chris/me/Soph off to right standing), and an adorable pic of Emma (in sunglasses) with her class, lined up and awaiting instructions from their blessed angel of a teacher, Miss Louise.
We feel so lucky to have found this amazing place for Em to spend two days a week. We call it school, but really it's a parent-run cooperative playgroup with a very unique structure, and we love it. When I hear Em talk of her teachers and friends with such joy, or when we've just survived a week like this last one where she couldn't go to school and missed it terribly, I feel so grateful that life led us to this place and she is so well cared for in my absence. (Let's face it - I think she gets more attention and fun there than she gets at home!) And of course, there is already a new crop of little siblings at or around Sophie's age that are destined to join school in 2010, and we were able to meet all of Sophie's future friends (except for those still in utero) for the first time! A good day.

Emma on a Friday

• Asking me if she can be a Coach when she is an "add-dult," I tell Emma she can be whatever she wants to be when she grows up. Em's response to this piece of news: "Then I'm gonna be a tractor, and I'm gonna practice and practice and be the best tractor EVER!"
• Midway through my absolutely glowing report of Emma's big sister skills to a group of fellow mothers, Em plops down beside me with a plate of food, snatches a piece of cheese out of Sophie's reaching grasp, and growls "MINE" at the top of her lungs right in Sophie's face.
• Leaving camp today, a new friend calls out, "Goodbye Emma, I'll miss you!" To which Em replies over her shoulder, "I know."
• Catching a snippet of me swearing under my breath while trying to open a stubborn bottle, Em screams from the bathroom, "What's wrong, Mommy? I hear madness!"
• In the car, Em repeatedly sings silly songs in an effort to soothe a crying Sophie. I turn to thank Emma for being such a great sister and catch sight of the reason Sophie is crying...Emma is smooshing a rose into Soph's face and demanding she smell the flower.
• During Em's school "gradulation," various parents describe Emma to me as a superstar, a fantastic diva, a beautiful force, pure joy, and a blast of light. I'll take it.

Decisions

Em's school called Tuesday to tell me that a lice screening had revealed three kids and a teacher were infected. Although Em's screening had been clean, they asked me to pick her up b/c they were closing school for the rest of the day. Now, I knew they were doing a screening that day b/c the day AFTER going to a school friend's birthday party two weeks ago, all the parents received a mass email from the birthday boy's mother informing us that her child had lice and they'd done the treatment and everything was fine now but she just wanted to let us know. Now...unfortunately, lice happens. The whole thing certainly grosses me out, but I realize it goes with the territory of being a parent and I was glad the mother made us aware of the situation. What bothered me was that she discovered the lice on Saturday, the birthday party was on Sunday, and she sent the lice email on Monday. I understand not wanting her child to miss out on his party, but still...the timing of it all was kinda suspect. And of course, during the school's lice screening (prompted by the discovery that another child had been infected by the little buggers), one of the children with lice turned out to be hers. Still. Two weeks later. AND he's been going to school during that entire time - a place where the kids play together, nap together, share snugglies, sheets, pillows, etc. No wonder the lice had spread to others! Even though Em's screening was clear, our whole family did the treatment and we washed every set of sheets, every blanket, every stuffed animal in the house. And now, the school's been closed for two days while we have it professionally cleaned, we've had to pay the teachers for lost time, many of us have had to secure alternate child care...and although I really like and respect the mother of the child who started it all, I can't help but be annoyed by the way she chose to handle this. Because of her choices, we are now all suffering.

So that night, AFTER our lovely lice treatments, I went to see the documentary American Teen. For those that don't know, the film follows a handful of students from Warsaw, Indiana throughout their senior year. I had problems with the movie as a whole, but there were many moments that were very compelling...mostly b/c it brought back soooo many memories of MY Indiana high school years. Seeing those kids onscreen - many of whom were eerily reminicent of my school peers from 15 years ago - face different stressful situations and ultimately make choices that reflected well or otherwise on themselves as people, I couldn't help remembering some of the stupid stupid STUPID choices I made in high school. Oh, there were so, so many of them. And have I really come so far during those 15 years? I'd like to think I've grown up a lot since then, but I know I still make mistakes, I still make wrong choices, I still fall short. Some of the students in the movie came off looking better than others, but I'm sure they too, all of them, have matured, and they too, all of them, still struggle. Doesn't everyone? The choices we make in life - whether it be what to eat, wear, support, DO, or who to vote for, hang out with, sleep with, live with - these choices, big and small, all help shape and define who we are as people, do they not? So my question is...how much or little should we judge another human being for the choice(s) they make? B/c if someone had carried a camera around during MY senior year, I could seriously be in jail. (And that's all you're going to hear about THAT.) And while I think I'd escape prison time now, I don't know otherwise that I'd fare much better today...not if the camera caught everything, every misstep, every wrong turn, every "oh-my-god-i-wish-i-could-just-turn-back-the-clock" moment of my life? Because I've no doubt I make stupid choices All The Time.

So perhaps I'm being too hard on that mother from school. I'm sure, at the time, she thought she was handling the situation the "right" way. Intent does factor into the equation, doesn't it? Should it? And if so, when does intent become irrelevant in the face of consequence? I went into that movie filled with righteous anger at how I'd had to spend my day in "lice crisis" b/c of someone else's mistake, and I left the movie thinking, uh...judge not lest you be judged, Miss High and Mighty. So...I don't really know. Anything. Except that a) I can be really judgmental, and I own it and try to recognize and control it when I can, and b) since Tuesday, I've been spending much too much time ruminating on the issue of choice. But I guess...that's my choice, right? For now. The good news is that one can usually change one's mind, thereby changing one's choice, thereby changing one's life. In theory, anyway. Uggh...too much to think about. Right now I'm just happy none of us has lice.

Traditions

How do certain traditions get started? In our house, they often begin out of desperation. During one of Emma's particularly brutal crying jags as an infant, I created a song for her to the tune of "There's No Business Like Show Business." For whatever reason, it always quieted her. The tradition has continued with Sophie. Thankfully we don't need to use the song nearly as much with Soph b/c she's usually pretty content, but we do bust it out when required. The song always makes her smile. Here's a video of Em and me singing to her.

Busy Monday

Today was a hectic day. First, the girls and I went to the gym. Emma painted a picture and Sophie napped while I tried very, very hard to make it through my Step class without vomiting. Em had her first day of summer play camp after lunch. I was worried she would balk at being left at a strange place with strange people, especially because I had not prepared her for the fact that Soph and I were not staying. However, turns out she could barely be torn away from all the new toys long enough to give a quick kiss goodbye. Sophie and I ran errands during Em's camp time, and it turned out to be a rather painful process. By this point Sophie was overtired and overdue for her afternoon nap, and the girl shrieked the entire time she was in the car seat - relenting only after I had stopped the car and picked her up. So...UPS, library, Target, Walgreens. Four stops, four instances of shrieking/reprieve, shrieking/reprieve, etc. It was heart wrenching. She finally gave in and went to sleep about two minutes before I had to wake her up to go in and get Emma. Poor second children - in a lot of ways, they really do get the shaft.

After naps, work, Daddy time and dinner, I dropped off baby clothes for my friend Jenny's gorgeous new little girl, Margot. Then I went to a meeting at Emma's school, where I basically sat completely silent for an hour while other parents discussed all the horrible things happening at school (i.e., superhero play - Commercialism!, chapter book reading - Too Advanced!, and Disney toys - even MORE Commercialism!). I drove home amid a wicked thunderstorm with fire alarms sounding off all around me and discovered upon arrival that we were under a tornado warning. So we woke up the kids and hung out in the basement with our lovely landlord and neighbor Elena. And now the warning is over, the kids are back to sleep, and I sit here writing this blog while hoping we do not lose our power.

How was your Monday?