Decisions

Em's school called Tuesday to tell me that a lice screening had revealed three kids and a teacher were infected. Although Em's screening had been clean, they asked me to pick her up b/c they were closing school for the rest of the day. Now, I knew they were doing a screening that day b/c the day AFTER going to a school friend's birthday party two weeks ago, all the parents received a mass email from the birthday boy's mother informing us that her child had lice and they'd done the treatment and everything was fine now but she just wanted to let us know. Now...unfortunately, lice happens. The whole thing certainly grosses me out, but I realize it goes with the territory of being a parent and I was glad the mother made us aware of the situation. What bothered me was that she discovered the lice on Saturday, the birthday party was on Sunday, and she sent the lice email on Monday. I understand not wanting her child to miss out on his party, but still...the timing of it all was kinda suspect. And of course, during the school's lice screening (prompted by the discovery that another child had been infected by the little buggers), one of the children with lice turned out to be hers. Still. Two weeks later. AND he's been going to school during that entire time - a place where the kids play together, nap together, share snugglies, sheets, pillows, etc. No wonder the lice had spread to others! Even though Em's screening was clear, our whole family did the treatment and we washed every set of sheets, every blanket, every stuffed animal in the house. And now, the school's been closed for two days while we have it professionally cleaned, we've had to pay the teachers for lost time, many of us have had to secure alternate child care...and although I really like and respect the mother of the child who started it all, I can't help but be annoyed by the way she chose to handle this. Because of her choices, we are now all suffering.

So that night, AFTER our lovely lice treatments, I went to see the documentary American Teen. For those that don't know, the film follows a handful of students from Warsaw, Indiana throughout their senior year. I had problems with the movie as a whole, but there were many moments that were very compelling...mostly b/c it brought back soooo many memories of MY Indiana high school years. Seeing those kids onscreen - many of whom were eerily reminicent of my school peers from 15 years ago - face different stressful situations and ultimately make choices that reflected well or otherwise on themselves as people, I couldn't help remembering some of the stupid stupid STUPID choices I made in high school. Oh, there were so, so many of them. And have I really come so far during those 15 years? I'd like to think I've grown up a lot since then, but I know I still make mistakes, I still make wrong choices, I still fall short. Some of the students in the movie came off looking better than others, but I'm sure they too, all of them, have matured, and they too, all of them, still struggle. Doesn't everyone? The choices we make in life - whether it be what to eat, wear, support, DO, or who to vote for, hang out with, sleep with, live with - these choices, big and small, all help shape and define who we are as people, do they not? So my question is...how much or little should we judge another human being for the choice(s) they make? B/c if someone had carried a camera around during MY senior year, I could seriously be in jail. (And that's all you're going to hear about THAT.) And while I think I'd escape prison time now, I don't know otherwise that I'd fare much better today...not if the camera caught everything, every misstep, every wrong turn, every "oh-my-god-i-wish-i-could-just-turn-back-the-clock" moment of my life? Because I've no doubt I make stupid choices All The Time.

So perhaps I'm being too hard on that mother from school. I'm sure, at the time, she thought she was handling the situation the "right" way. Intent does factor into the equation, doesn't it? Should it? And if so, when does intent become irrelevant in the face of consequence? I went into that movie filled with righteous anger at how I'd had to spend my day in "lice crisis" b/c of someone else's mistake, and I left the movie thinking, uh...judge not lest you be judged, Miss High and Mighty. So...I don't really know. Anything. Except that a) I can be really judgmental, and I own it and try to recognize and control it when I can, and b) since Tuesday, I've been spending much too much time ruminating on the issue of choice. But I guess...that's my choice, right? For now. The good news is that one can usually change one's mind, thereby changing one's choice, thereby changing one's life. In theory, anyway. Uggh...too much to think about. Right now I'm just happy none of us has lice.