Jugglers Don't Just Perform in the Circus, Baby

I recently had a "photo shoot" at my work, and I use that term incredibly loosely b/c the entire process basically involved an intern, a digital camera, and numerous attempts to snap one picture where we were all facing front and not blinking. I had to take both girls with me b/c I had no child care that day, and as the whole thing was only going to take half an hour, I didn't think it would be that big a deal. But of course, nothing is ever that easy, is it?

First of all, we were meeting at 3pm - right smack in the middle of nap time. So Emma was pretty tired, having just finished her last day at camp, and Sophie was downright crabby. All was fine when we first arrived, but the minute I tried sitting Sophie in the stroller, facing me, and then walking more than one foot from her to join the group, she freaked. While I encouraged everyone to ignore the crying and Just. Keep. Shooting!, Emma decided to wander off from her appointed post beside the stroller and hide, thereby sending me into a panic attack when I realized she had disappeared. Outside. Near a busy street. I quickly found her under the stairs, crawled on my hands and knees (in my expensive black pants!) to retrieve her while Sophie continued to wail, walked her back by the stroller and bribed her to stay put. Photos again commenced until one of my co-workers noticed that Em was standing funny. Potty break! I took both girls into the bathroom as fast as I could while everyone else was - again - forced to wait for me. Sophie calmed after we returned and we finally got our group shot. Then we moved on to individual photos, and Sophie immediately begins a meltdown similar in intensity to Miranda Richardson's kitchen scene in Damage, complete with snot, tears, and eventually vomit. At the same time, Emma has planted herself in a corner, shouting "I. Don't. Want. To. BE! HERE!" over and over and over again. Eric snapped one picture of me and I'm like, Done! I didn't even know if I was in the camera frame, let alone if I remembered to smile or had food in my teeth or whatever...didn't care. I threw the diaper bag over my shoulder, scooped up both girls one under each arm (I am not kidding), pushed the stroller with my foot, and we were outta there.

I left feeling so frustrated and humiliated that I am apparently a) incapable of being professional for even 15 minutes and b) the mother of freakish alien maniacs. But after I calmed down a bit, I realized how blessed I am to work at a place that allows me to do the vast majority of my job from home and finds it totally normal and acceptable that I miss meetings for reasons such as "my kid needs a nap" or "my baby just threw up." Not to mention having co-workers willing to play frisbee with my four-year-old and peekaboo with my infant (without complaint, may I add - in fact, with SMILES ON THEIR FACES) while I try to strike my best glamour pose.

Adventure Stage Chicago, I'm so grateful we found each other. I'm really proud of where I work and what we do. If you have any interest whatsoever in checking out the final product of intern Eric's glorious photography skills, you can click here.

And to Emma and Sophie, all I can say is karma has a sick sense of humor sometimes...so when the day comes that you complain to me about how embarrassing it is to conduct a meeting with a stinky diaper in your bag or give a presentation with leaking breasts and spit up on your shirt, I am gonna have myself a good long laugh.