Master Manipulator

Emma is the queen - no, king - no, MASTER at manipulation, particularly when it comes to avoiding bedtime. As soon as we say goodnight, turn out the lights, and shut the door, the games begin. Sometimes she needs a glass of water. Sometimes she misses Grandma. Sometimes she is scared. Sometimes her pink blanket needs straightened. Sometimes she forgot to tell me something. Sometimes her Ocean Wonders has turned off. Sometimes she needs rocked. Sometimes she has to pee. Sometimes she comes out sobbing, demanding we pay attention to her. Other times she just stands mute in her doorway, waiting for us to discover her like some silent demon child when we happen to wander into the kitchen for something. (Let me tell you, no matter how many times she pulls this one, it ALWAYS makes me scream.) Some nights these games go on for 10 minutes...other nights it can be 2 hours. Once in a great while, just to lull us into a false sense of victory, she actually goes to bed without a peep. But it is only at her choosing that she does so...and the reprieve never lasts for long.

We've tried ignoring her. We've tried putting her straight back to bed every time she gets up. We've tried the Supernanny "no talking" method. We've tried the Chris and Jen "screaming at the top of our lungs" method. We've tried threats, we've tried praise, we've tried bribing and begging. (Oh, you may judge me now, but let me send her over to YOUR house for a few days and you'll soon be begging too, trust me.) Nothing seems to work.

Tonight, I'd had it. I told her in no uncertain terms that we weren't doing it anymore, that's it, when the door is closed and lights are out that means GOOD NIGHT and no amount of crying or screaming is going to change that. She seemed to get it. I closed the door, and she was silent...for about 5 minutes.

Now she's in her room, crying and screaming, "I miss Sophie P., I miss Sophie P., I forgot to kiss Sophie P., I miss Sophie P.," over and over and over and over again. I gotta give her credit for putting a new twist on an old move. She is nothing if not inventive. Usually if she misses someone, it's one of her various grandparents or possibly Miss Louise from school...she's never played the sister card before.

If anyone has any tips on how to deal with this, share. Please. In fact, do more than share...come to our house, kick us out for a couple of hours, and let the magic commence. We will ask no questions of your methods. If you manage to quiet the bedtime beast, we'll fall to our knees and kiss your feet in gratitude...and maybe even name our next car after you.

Seriously. You have our address. Drop by anytime. But be sure to bring your A game b/c Emma is a very formidable competitor.