Out of the mouths of babes...

• Me: "Girls, quit playing the dead game." Em: "We aren't dead. We are just hurt really bad and our eyes won't open because we fell from a roller coaster 130 feet tall and broked our bodies. But we aren't dead."

• Soph: "Mommy, look at the birds in the sky. They are playing Follow The Leader!"

• Em: "Now that my teeth are falling out, I'm practically a teenager."

• Soph: "Mama, you are my friend, and Millie is my friend, and Emma is my friend, and Callie is my friend." Me: "What about Daddy?" Soph: "Daddy is my father." Me: "Well...fathers can be friends, too." Soph: "No. That's gross!"

• Em: "Grandma, did you know that if you take off your underwear anywhere in the wide world, your vagina will explode?"

• Me: "Sophie, are you a big girl? Do you pee and poop in the potty?" Soph: "Yes, I do! Whenever I feel like it."

• Em: "Mommy, what am I whistling?" [Cue crazy-screechy-whistle sound.] Me: "I don't know." Em: "Mom. Pay attention." [Cue crazy-screechy-whistle sound.] Me: "I have no idea." Em: "Ugh! Mama. Just listen." [Cue crazy-screechy-whistle sound.] Me: "I don't know, Emma. Goodness. Just tell me what it is already." Em: "WHOO-HOO! I am whistling WHOO-HOO!" Me: "Wow. You didn't have to scream it in my face." Em: "Yes, I did. Clearly."

• Soph: "Mama, can you hold my tiara? I hafta pee."

• Em: "我饿了, 我要牛肉. That means 'I am hungry and I want beef' in Chinese."

• Soph: "Look at my belly, Mama. It is so big! Touch it."  

• Em: "Sophie isn't ready to go to school yet." Me: "Why?" Em [in a whisper, with hand cupping her mouth]: "Because she'll be loud and crazy on the bus and she won't know where to sit or how to put on her seat belt and she'll do somersaults on the ground when the bus is moving and cry that she misses you and fart in her pants and it will embarrass me."

• Soph & Em: "We looooooove dressing up like princesses!"