Potty Training: Progress Report 3

Sophie has managed to acquire eight stickers on her potty chart this week. She even earned her first special treat - a Snow White Polly Pocket Play Set. Yay!
However, in the interest of full disclosure, I feel compelled to add that at least three of those stickers were gained by less than a handful of pitiful little urine drops that just happened to fall into the toilet. And yes, while there have been celebratory moments this week, Sophie has also peed on the floor of just about every room in our apartment, as well as all over Aunt Jayme's shoes, our couch, the living room rug, and an innocent baby doll's head. In addition, there have been countless instances of poop-in-the-panties, and a few hours ago I stepped on a huge wet steaming glob of Sophie poo on the bathroom floor...IN MY BARE FEET.

At this point, I would say failures are outweighing successes, but I vow to stay strong. Um...well, later. Yeah. That's right. LATER, I will stay strong. Right now, I just have to say: I. HATE. POTTY. TRAINING. It SUCKS, it is DISGUSTING, and I don't understand why there aren't any professionals out there that I can hire to do it FOR me. I mean, I'm talking about a niche market in a crappy economy that is just WAITING to be exploited, so why isn't anyone out there DOING it?! Doesn't anyone get how many desperate parents there are in this world who would meet any price? Plus, we are all stupid enough to KEEP REPRODUCING, which means a neverending stream of customers! Hello...is anyone LISTENING? There are people out there willing to wade through garbage and plunge toilets for a living. There is even an outfit in this city that you can pay to get rid of your kid's head lice! Yet no one will take on my two-year-old? I would give ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY. I would rob a bank, I don't CARE, just somebody else do it for me please please please please please, for the love of god PLEASE!

O-kay. Deeeeeeeeep breath. In, and out. IN. And. OUT. Good. All right. Glad I got that off my chest. I actually feel a little bit - TINY bit - better.

In times like these, I find it prudent to remind myself of the many things I do adore about my child...my lovely, adorable, obstinate, willful, nonstop-peeing-and-pooping child. Hence, this video: