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I've been gone a lot today, which kinda sucks - often when I'm away from the kids I enjoy the break, but today I kept wishing I was with them. When I came home tonight, I discovered Chris trapped on the bed with a passed out Sophie in his arms. She apparently collapsed from exhaustion after screaming for 45 minutes straight b/c she wanted me. I put her to bed and then joined Emma in the living room, where she was having a "sleepover" on the floor with her giraffe. She lit up when she saw me and gave me a big hug, lots of kisses, and declared me her best friend.

It is not always fun to go away, but it IS always nice to be missed.

Sleep, I miss you old friend

Last night my husband offered to sleep on the couch. No, he wasn't in the doghouse - he's just struggling with a cold and knows that his snoring keeps me up. I was touched he'd endure a night of not-so-comfortable slumber just so I could get some sleep, and I happily accepted.

11:30pm - Lights out.

12:15am - Sophie's awake. Feed her, put her back to bed.

2:00am - Em comes into bedroom, scared and looking for Daddy. I send her into living room.

3:00am - Em comes into bedroom again, asks to sleep with me, says she's scared. Before I can register her request enough to deny it, she's up and laying next to me, demanding more milk and the pillows from her bed.

4:00am - Sophie's awake. Go in, she's soaked through everything. Change her diaper, change her pjs. She screams bloody murder the whole time. Wakes up Em, who hears her through the sound monitor in my room. Em comes in, scared. I send her back to my bed. Feed Sophie. Put her back to bed. Go into Em. Calm her back to sleep.

6:30am - Sophie's awake. No back to bed this time - must start our day.

I probably sound like I'm documenting this for sympathy, but actually I realize how lucky I am b/c a night like the above is rare in our house and I know others that deal with it on a much more regular basis. Mostly I just want a record of last night for myself so that in the future, when I have two teenage girls who desperately need their "beauty sleep," I can recreate this night for them and use this blog as a guideline to remind me how often to go in and wake them up.

I really, really look forward to that day.

Ahhh, Vacation

Last week we spent four days in a cabin in the middle of the woods with no phone or Internet access. It rained every day, and we spent most of our time cooped up inside with four kids and a family of field mice. Sound like a sucky vacation? Actually, it was heaven.

On the surface it might not sound like everyone's ideal, but the lack of communication with the outside world turned out to be such a blessing. I honestly cannot remember the last time I've gone even a day without checking email. I'll admit that initially I panicked - particularly when my cell phone was stripped from me as well - but I quickly adjusted and reveled in the divine silence. And yes, the cabin was in the middle of nowhere, and I am typically not a nature girl, but we certainly weren't roughing it. It was spacious and beautiful, with every amenity, and the place quickly felt like a home away from home. I didn't even mind The Dude (as we named him) and his little mice friends coming to visit us in the kitchen every night. (He was really kinda cute.) And while the weather was a bummer, it ultimately didn't matter much b/c we had no desire to leave the inside of our vacation haven. We were with our fabulous friends Chris and Claire, and their equally fabulous daughters Charlotte and Maggie, and we so rarely get to see each other that four days together to just hang out and BE was, in a word, perfection.

There were tears and hugs and lots of promises to "do it again soon" as we said our goodbyes - they on their way home to New York, us on the road back to the Windy City - and while many say such things without really meaning it, I believe we all did. And do. And that brings me such joy. I envision our girls growing up the best of friends, looking forward to seeing each other every year. That's something I never had as a child - a special, long-distance friend. How fun is that? Then again, for Chris and me it isn't always fun - frankly, being so far away from Chris and Claire kinda sucks. But now WE have something to look forward to as well...seeing their smiling faces on a regular basis and establishing a tradition for both our families that will (hopefully) last well into the future. I'm as sick of Midwestern weather as the next person (please please please, can we have at least ONE WEEK of Spring this year?), but I'll take a cabin in the woods over a Hawaiian beach any day if my friends are there waiting for me.

So, here's to next year. And the next. And the next. And until then, I have great memories of board games, Rock Band, chicken pesto, hide & seek, bed jumping, bath bubbles, mice catching, superpowers, boo-boo kissing, and amazing conversations to keep me company.

Maggie, Charlotte & Emma jumping away

Emma, Maggie & Charlotte with Chris

Present and future BFFs Emma & Charlotte

Hurlyburly 2 (minus our lead singer extraordinaire) rockin' OUT

The gang just before saying goodbye

So Happy I Could Spit

Happy Easter to you all. We had a really great day. Emma overdosed on sugar by noon, which seemed about right. Between the Easter Bunny and family, the girls made out like bandits with Easter loot. Mostly we relaxed and enjoyed our first day back in town after a week of travel.

Emma at the end of a loonnnnggg candy run

Sophie spent the day spitting, which is now her favorite pastime. She is very proud of her new skill and uses it to great effect, often pursing her lips together and gaining enough saliva momentum to spit straight up in the air, geyser-style. Other times she merely spits down her chin. She is also becoming famous for the spit/drool combo. Regardless of the form she chooses, the result is always the same: she soaks through any outfit/bib/coat she is wearing within about 10 minutes. And if you are anywhere near her as she practices her new achievement, you will be soaked too.

Sophie in mid-spit

I suppose I am to blame for this - I encouraged her to blow her lips and b/c she is clearly advanced, she naturally proceeded to take it to the next level. It is hard to stay frustrated, even as she douses you with a Sophie Saliva Special, because she's so darn cute when she does it. Thankfully, the Easter Bunny brought Emma an umbrella, which has not left her side all day. So she's covered. As for Chris and I? Oh, this phase too shall pass. I guess until then we can suck it up...and hopefully teach Sophie to do so as well.

Emma on a Wednesday

Wednesday Emma report:

• Discovers a pair of panties that she doesn't recognize and comes barreling into the bathroom, hurling said panties at me in the shower and screaming "These are not mine!"
• Sings me her new song, I Lost A Kleenex, while playing her guitar.
• Lounges on the couch as if deeply ill, then jumps up and screams, "I can't move over! It's too hard, it's too hard! I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it, I can-NOT, I can-NOT. It's strainable, it's strainable, it's so beautiful but I can't do it, it's too hard, it's too hard, it's too hard." "I just can't believe it," she ends breathlessly as she falls back on her pillow, closes her eyes and hides her face from the world.
• Asks me to open her cash register for her - but not until she's three rooms away, has her ears covered and yells "Go!" as the all-clear for me to open it without scaring her. (Her methods are a bit extreme, but in her defense the darn thing IS pretty loud when it flies open.)
• Sample conversation in the car this morning: "Mommy, if I had 20 hundred dollars and 7 many dollars, would you give me dollar 1?" "Um, sure!" "Thanks, Mommy."
• Wakes up from nap crying b/c she can't figure out how to do the flip-over with her hoodie.
  
• Stands on the toilet shrieking the same 10 words over and over - "Who Am I? Tell Me. Cause I Can Do Anything" - for 20 minutes before bowing to her imaginary audience and quietly saying, "Thank you. Thank you very much."
  

Emma on a Monday

Monday Emma report:

• Found a pair of old gloves in her backpack and has been wearing them all day, announcing she's an animal rescuer and that the gloves help her climb trees so she can rescue animals. Apparently they also help her climb the end post of our bed's canopy, which is the stand-in for aforementioned tree.
• Yelled at her little sister for the first time today. I heard screaming and came into the living room to find a righteously angry Emma berating Sophie for kicking her bouncy seat and frightening away a rare bird that Emma was about to capture.
• Unraveled an entire roll of toilet paper and then presented the pile to me as a cake she had baked for my birthday.
• Spent a minimum of 30 minutes running loops around the apartment and yelling, "Gordon, Gordon."
• Erased an hour's worth of Mommy's work on the computer while I was in the bathroom b/c she was working on her "field journal" and somehow managed to delete the entire document.
• Is now taking a nap with no clothes on because, as she explained to me, she has not had enough "naked time" today.

It is 2pm. We shall see what the rest of the day brings.

One at a time, please

We just returned from a quick, blink-and-you-miss-it trip to Indiana this weekend. We were there about 24 hours. It was so nice to see everyone - especially Cadin. Emma and Chris had not yet met him. He is three weeks old now, and although everyone had described him as a Mama's Boy, he couldn't seem to get enough of Uncle Chris - which made Chris feel wonderful since his own child is still playing the bizarre, self-invented I Don't Think I Like You, Daddy game. Cadin also chilled out on the floor by himself for the first time during our visit, a definite sign of genius. In fact, Cara and I both think this clear demonstration of advanced learning indicates his readiness to move on to the next stage...college. Brilliance like that needs to be nurtured, and obviously his superior intelligence level is best challenged at the collegiate level. There's no point bothering with silly trifles in between like high school, kindergarten, or walking.

One thing that became alarmingly apparent in little Sophie while we were there is that she's just not a people-person. She seems to do best when she's one on one with someone. Put her in a room with more than 3 people, and she begins self-destructing with alarming speed. Most of our time in Indiana, I witnessed my normally sweet-natured child scream, cry, fuss, whine, or just generally scowl at everyone - even me! Mommy, her (previously) favorite person in the world! The one who can calm her when all others fail! Suddenly I too was the enemy, as if she'd singled me out as the one to blame for putting her in the horrible situation she currently found herself in - being surrounded by people who adore her. And really, she's right - what was I thinking? How could I be so cruel?

She did give out some grudging, random smiles, but they were few and brief. I left Indiana a bit worried that my daughter had become someone I no longer recognized. But once we stepped back into our apartment, I could physically feel in her body the relaxation, the comfort, the RELIEF she felt at being back home. And my baby - the one I know and love, and the one that apparently others will never meet - came back to me in the time it took for her to gift me with one gorgeous, full-gum smile. Welcome back, Sophie. I shall relish this week we have together, because next week we are on vacation with friends (5 days, 1 cabin, 8 people - Sophie's idea of hell) and you will probably disappear on me again. But at least I know you shall return.

Nightmares

Em's been waking up from nightmares a lot lately. Last night was no exception. When asked, she told us that a monster came into her room, so she called for Grandma. Grandma came in, but she yelled at Emma instead of the monster. Then the monster and Grandma put band-aids all over Em's legs and hips. The end.

The night before, she was upset because a goat kept kicking her in the ear. The night before that, it was a cat meowing in the dark.

No idea what tonight will bring. My only solid guess is that it won't include uninterrupted sleep. In fact, Uninterrupted Sleep is so far removed from my memory that it's become something of a myth - an impossible thing I occasionally hear others talking about but don't really believe exists...like Bigfoot. Or honest politicians. Or an exceptional $10 haircut.

On a happier note, Sophie slept from 7pm - 5am last night. Hurray! At least someone is getting sleep in this house.

The Art of the Joke

Yesterday, I decided to teach Emma the fine art of a good Knock Knock joke. I start by outlining the set-up: I say Knock Knock, she says Who's There, etc. Once she had that down, I let loose with basically the only Knock Knock joke I know:

Me: Knock Knock
Em: Who's there?
Me: Orange.
Em: Orange who?
Me: Orange you glad to see me?

Blank stare. Crickets. No giggle, no smile...not even a smirk. I prepare to explain the joke to her, but she decides she wants to try a joke of her own before I can say a word. I'm excited by her enthusiasm and encourage her to jump right in. And she does.

Em: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Em: Lemon
Me: Lemon who?
Em: Seramuna.

Hmmm...what? I tell Emma that I didn't fully understand her punchline and ask her why she said "Seramuna" (approximate spelling, by the way - sounds like the name "Sarah" combined with "moon-a"). She calmly replies, "Because Seramuna is Lemon's last name."

Oh. Of course. Lemon's full name...got it, makes perfect sense. I then realize my failure in explaining one of the most important components of the Knock Knock joke - the play on words. So I patiently tell her how "orange" sounds like "aren't" and therein lies the joke. She seems to get it and says she understands. Then she tries again.

Em: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Em: Lemon
Me: Lemon who?
Em: Lemon, would you come back?

I let out an involuntary laugh - her punchline is so unexpected and she tells the joke so earnestly, like she's reciting a just-memorized poem or giving a particularly grueling presentation at show and tell. I tell her Great Job and then proceed to explain why her joke isn't really a JOKE. I start referencing the good old "orange" vs. "aren't" comparison again to illustrate the difference between her joke and mine. She hears me through. Then she points out, "But your joke wasn't funny, and mine was."

Well. Hard to argue with that logic. And the lesson, apparently, is mine.

So I'll leave you with Emma's final Knock Knock of the day.

Em: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Em: Lime
Me: Lime who?
Em: Shencky.

You decide if you think it's funny. I personally find it hilarious.